Worth it
by reig
Summary: What if you realize that all you've ever wanted is in front of you but you can't have it? Jane kills RJ but was it worth it? It makes more sense later...!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Readers! First of all thank you for reading my story! This is my firs thing that i publish here so I'm a little nervous…Sorry for the mistakes in grammar,but I'm trying…:) This all was inspired by a song: James Morrison-Broken strings (not mine) but it's not a songfic…  
>Okay…so here goes the first chapter,reviews always appreciated!;)<strong>

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately i don't own The mentalist even if i would love to , all rights go to CBS and ! _

BAMM! BAMM! BAMM!

And that was it. He thought he would feel happy and relieved but he only felt calmness surrounded him as he sat down on the closest chair. He drank his tea and asked if he could pay. The woman ran away with a horrified expressoin on her face.

Of course, he was after all a cold-blooded killer. Lisbon will be so mad at him! He repressed a smile at that thought. He knew that the raven haired agent is going to shout at him for hours. But he was looking forward to Red John worth it! And if Lisbon will be shouting it meant that she was she had to be.

Even now,that a dead man lay beside him he felt his heart warm as he thought about Lisbon. When he heard the shots in the phone a few minutes earlier his blood ran cold in his veins. All he could think of was her. Was she okay? Did she get hurt? He almost forgot where he was and why he was there. Almost…

When he was certain that she is going to be fine he had to finish what he had started.

But now as he waited for someone – probably the police – to come his thoughts wandered to her. And his team. He was perfectly aware of the thing he did. He killed a man. Well, a serial-killer at least but he killed him. He will have to go to court and there will be a trial.

Patrick Jane searched his own mind for for one does he feel now that he was free? Free…free from Red John. But not so free if we think about prison…

He couldn't find the answer he was looking expected to feel happy. But he wasn't…He didn't even felt succesful. It was kind of empty in his head. No plans or expectations. No fears. No intentions. No re-thinkings. It was all done. All this time since his family died he planned how to catch him. And how to take revenge. He learned all the names and dates and everything about Red was always thinking of a way to outmaneuver him. And now he did caught him. He killed him.

And his mind was , not clear in a good was simply empty. And it scared him. The revenge was practically his life over the last years and now it was done. What the hell will he do now?

When the police arrived Patrick was still lifted his hands and let the cops arrest him. He didn't say a didn't protested. He just let them lead him to the car and drove away…

**So…that was first chapter. I'm really sorry it's that short but i couldn't write it any longer. The main action will be in later chapters so bear with me please…Next chapter will be up soon!Promise it will be better! ;)**

**Oh and tell me what you think about it!:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Everyone! Really thank you if you still read this and i hope you are enjoying the story…! So this is the second will get started here and will unfold in later chapters!:) **

**Ok,remember to review! **

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately i still don't own The mentalist or the characters_

„Patrick,you said that the man you shot had a gun…Am I right?" asked a blond woman.

She was his new lawyer Lydia Jones.

„Yes, it was wrapped" he said and added "In a newspaper..Why?"

„Well,there was no gun found…" she said and looked down on her feet „Sorry…"

„It's not really your fault,so please don't apologize!" Jane said simply but in his head thoughts started to swirl._There was no gun? _His stomach twitched at the idea.

It was two weeks since Jane was in lawyer was there every second day to prepare him to his trial. None of his friends had come to see him yet but he was still hoping. Grace had called him once but she didn't seem like she was in a good that Jane could blame all it was her fiancé who betrayed them…

„Patrick…are you with me?" he heard Lydia's voice dragging him back to reality. He shook away his thoughts and looked at the woman.

„Sorry i didn't did you say?" he said apologetically

„I said that Agent Lisbon will come to you this week to tell you some things." Jane's heart skipped a beat at this. Lisbon is going to visit him!

„What kind of things?" he leaned forward,interested

„I don't know ..probably some things about the case.I will be here too because we have to talk throught her statement."

„What? What statement?" he was hadn't heard of her being a witness in his case. Actually he could have expected this. She was the closest person to him nowdays. It hurt him to know that she had to go through all this crap because of him. Because he knew exactly how much she hated it. And he felt guilty…

But still…he was really excited to see her. He really missed her in the last two weeks. There wasn't a day when he hadn't thought of her.

„She is a witness…Patrick? Should I come back later? Lydia waved her hands in front of his face.

„I'm sorry Lydia…I just…I haven't seen her for two weeks…" he tried to explain but the woman looked at him strangely.

„Are you two…you know…together?"she asked

„Wha..No!Of course not!" he said maybe a little too knew that a personal relationship between Lisbon and him would make the whole thing a lot more difficult.

„Okay,because if you are you know I have to know!" the lawyer said with a slight nod.

„We aren't…" he confirmed. _Then why is my heart pounding in my stomach?_

On Saturday Patrick was walking around in was the day when Lisbon came to visit him. He was waiting in the visitor's room when he heard her steps. Her oh-so-familiar steps. He would recognise them from a thousand miles always heard it in the bullpen. He listened to her steps for hours waiting for her to come to him and say something. Because at last she always did. So when her steps sounded on the corridor he froze. When she entered the room he was still standing like staring at her form,waiting for her to do something. He was prepared that she is going to be angry with will shout and threaten that she will shoot him. But she didn't say a word. She was just standing there like Jane and looking at him. So Patrick took courage and walked to her.

„Lisbon!" He smiled a little and hugged her. Or at least he tried to hug her because when his arms were about to close around her she jerked away from him. She took a step backwards and looked at him with icy eyes. He stood there shocked, and heartbroken. Because in that moment his heart broke into many little pieces. She was more than just angry now he knew. And she won't forgive him easily.

He also stepped back and fixed his stare at his feet. His shoulders dropped and he felt he had to sit down.

„You want to sit down?" he asked quietly gesturing towards the chairs.

She nodded but then changed her mind.

„No,I won't stay long…" she said and took a big breath „ Jane,I'm here because I have to tell you some things.I came because…because I was your boss"

That hurt him even came because she had probably hated being there with him…

„Just tell and you can go…" he said a little harsh

„Oh..okay…You can't say anything about your former cases and victims before you arrange it with the CBI and you can't call any of your colleagues to ask for details in your own case or any other case if that matters…" she cluttered with one breath

„I get it…that's all?" he nodded

'Y-yess…I guess that's all" she looked down and cleared her throath."Then..I should get going…Goodbye Jane!" she said and started to turn away

„ Lisbon! Take care of yourself! „ he said finally his voice died away. He was sure he won't see her for a long bowed his head into his hands and listened to the closing door. So when her voice sounded again he glanced up surprisedly.

„Jane…I'm sorry…" she whispered and as he looked into her green eyes he was saw the hurt in her eyes and he realized how much pain he caused her with this. It was just a second but it changed everything.

„No…I** am** sorry Lisbon! „ he said seriously and looked deep into her eyes, trying to tell her how sorry he was.

First it seemed like she is going to say something but then it dissapeared. She just nodded and turned away.

He watched her leave the room and sighed. He missed her a lot more than he expected. And now she was angry and hurt. And he couldn't do anything to propitiate her because he was in prison. Now he hated being in prison more than ever…

**So it was a bit dark but next chapter will be a little happier. It will be up soon!**

**Please review and tell me what you think about it! It would mean a lot! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Guys! Here is the new chapter…Although I haven't got any reviews yet…I'm still hoping to receive some!Please,please make me happy with them…!Or not…just tell me what you think about it because it's killing me that I don't know!**

**Third chapter comes…**

_Disclaimer: I don't own The mentalist!_

Every day and every night he thought about her. And he realized that what he did not only had effect on him but on her too. And likely on the whole team. He hated that he hurt her. He might liked to annoy her a little bit but hurting her was a thing which he hated doing. Which he never did on purpose.

Jane thought that when he kills Red John he will get a good sleep but he was wrong. He tossed and turned over again and again every miserable night on his uncomfortable mattress.

A whole week had passed by since her visiting. Lydia kept on coming to him and going over the possible questions that he could be asked on the trial. But Lisbon never came with her. Never called him,never sent a message. He was lonely. Jane thought he had lost his life when his wife and child died but he realized that he was lost a part of his life. A big part. But he wasn't completely alone. He had his friends. Lisbon always stood by him and gave him the feeling that somebody still cared. The feeling that it matters if he is there or not. But now nobody cared about him. The guard was the only one who even talked to him.

He got a chance to live again and he screw it up too. He lost his family again. Because they were his family. Not in the general meaning, but they were his family. His new start over. And now he hurt all of them and he was alone again. But one thing Jane knew for sure. He won't let it fall apart again. He won't stand there and watch his new life go on without him. He will make them forgive him. He will do something to earn their love and trust again. He will. He just didn't know how yet…

Next day he was in the canteen when someone sat beside him. He looked up surprised because it hadn't happened since he was there. Everyone avoided him. He was the strange cop who killed a man. He didn' mind it that no one searched for his company. He could think this way…But now somebody was there and looked at him expectantly.

„Can I help you?" he asked like a gentleman

„Can you?" the man smirked. He was tall and had a tatoo on his left arm with a snake.

„I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't understand you…" Patrick told him honestly

„You are that psychic cop…aren't you?" the man looked at him up and down.

Jane sighed and pushed his tray away. Nobody had called him psychic for a long time now…

„No, I'm not a psychic…psychics don't exist. And I'm not a cop,I was a consultant of one." _And what a cop! _He thought and his heart ached at the thought of Lisbon. The man rolled his eyes and breathed out theatrically.

„I'm Patrick…" he held out his hand.

„Lance!" the man smirked and shook his hand. „I've heard about you…"

„Oh yeah? And what did you hear? „ Jane asked but he already knew the answer

„Your family…Red John…and that you killed someone who might be that you can do magic…"

„I can't do magic…" Patrick laughed „I have..skills…but that's it.."

„Show me!" Lance demanded. Jane guessed that he could be some kind of leader here because his voice sounded like somebody's who is used to give orders.

„Okay…what do you want?" he decided that he will be acquiescent. It may be good later if he has some friends.

„Well…you could get us some fun. You know women…some of us here is very very lonely…" he winked

„I can't get you that…but maybe I could make somebody act like one..!"Jane suggested „What do you think?Are you in?"

„Sure as hell!" Lance laughed out loud. Some other prisoners looked at them but then quickly returned to their meals. „But how do you do that?"

„I could hypnotize someone…Who do you want?" Patrick started to enjoy this. Lance seemed to have a big authority here.

„Hmm…" he thought about it and looked around. His eyes settled on a redheaded captive." Him!" he pointed at him. „His name is Todd McGray. He is here because he robbed a bank but got caught."

„ Right! We do it after lunch,ok?" Jane smiled

„Cool!" Lance said and stood up. He went to the next table and whispered the news into his buddy's ear.

Patrick shook his head slightly and tried to think about the best way to do the thing. He wanted it to be memorable. And he himself wanted to have some fun…

**Okay…so I decided to split this chapter in two but it would have been too long…The real fun part is the hypnotizing….you'll see!:)**

**Please,please tell me what you think about this story! Should I continue or not? Tell me! You don't even have to log in…just click on „Review" please! Thanks for reading! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Guys! Next chapter comes…First of all thank you Sonseeahray for your review! It meant a lot and I'll try to write longer chapters…!And idonthaveaname…creepy?I really hope not in a bad way…:) It doesn't really matters who he hypnotize the important thing is that he does it! So I dedicate this one to You…I hope you will like it..;) **

_Disclaimer: I still don't own The mentalist…:( nor Simply the best by Tina Turner.._

„I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire  
>You come to me, come to me wild and wired<br>When you come to me  
>Give me everything I need<br>Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams  
>Speak a language of love like you know what it means<br>And it can't be wrong  
>Take my heart and make it strong baby<p>

You're simply the best, better than all the rest  
>Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met<br>I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say  
>Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead"<p>

The whole canteen bursted out into laughing. Todd the redhead stood on a table in front of them and sang Simply the best. He couldn't continue though because the prisoners hooted at him loudly.

„What's the problem guys?You don't like it?" he asked from them and put his hands on his hip. They laughed even harder this time and he started to get confused.

„Hey Tina!" Jane flashed a wide smile on the hypnotized man as he continued." Come here.." he asked and Todd walked to him. He swayed his hips like a woman and the crowd clapped again.

„What do you want?" he asked from Patrick and Jane leaned closer to his ear to whisper something in it. He slowly nodded and headed to the guard in the door.

„Tina Turner? Really,Psychic?" Lance looked at him and shook his head while he laughed. He started to call Patrick „Psychic" since he agreed to hypnotize McGray." You really are a wizard!"

„I've wanted to do this for a while…" Patrick admitted and remembered to the day when Rigsby was hypnotized."But watch out…Tina is doing some fun stuff right now..!" he pointed to the door.

Todd reached the guard and started to flirt with him. He caressed the guard's face and stood really close to him.

„What are you doing,man?" the guard yelled and shoved him away.

„Oh baby..Don't be so shy…!" Todd leaned in and breathed a kiss on the guard's cheek. He went red immediately and punched Todd in the face. That seemed to bring McGray back to reality and he shook his head.

„What the hell are you doing?" he shouted at the guard and hit his stomach. They started to fight and the captives watched them with their breath caught in their throats.

Some other guards came quickly and separated them.

„O-oo.." Patrick sat down and tried to not pay attention on them. It was hard because Todd shouted and wanted to get away.

Lance smirked and turned to Jane.

„Well done Psychic!It was great!" he said and patted his shoulder. Patrick smiled at him and nodded.

„Thanks..!"

The crowd started to loosen and he found himself alone in the canteen. It was good of course to do something fun. It made a good feeling that he could do this,but he wasn't happy. He was glad that he entertained the others but his thoughts were still sad. He couldn't find a way to make Lisbon talk to him. Maybe he should simply call her. He decided that he will ask Lydia next time if he could do that.

**Lisbon POV**

She arrived in the office quite early that morning and found it empty . She sat on Jane's couch and sighed. She missed him. She couldn't fool anyone for God'sake. Sometimes she came out of her office to find him but he wasn't there. On crime scenes she searched for his car or for him to ask his opinion about the case. But he wasn't there. Every time her aching heart reminded her.

She wanted to go to him but she was so mad. How could he do that to them? Of course she knew from the beggining that eventually he will do somethinghorrible. But she wasn't ready for him being in prison. She simply couldn't face it yet. She needed some time. Or a cause to go to him…Because she couldn't just go there and visit him.

She turned the Tv on and there was the perfect reason to go to Jane.

„_A confused captive attacked a guard at the local prison. Fortnately some other guards saw it and ran to help their colleaue. Nobody got hurt apart from some bruises. The police is moving the prisoner to an other building until they find out the motive…" _

Lisbon stood up immediately and reached for her keys. She stormed out of the door and didn't stop until she got to the prison She rushed in and showed her badge.

„Agent Lisbon,CBI! I need to talk to Patrick Jane in private…!" she said to a guard.

„Follow me.." he answered after he checked her ID.

They went up to the second floor and he pointed at a corridor.

„Third door left." he said and disappeared in the lift.

She took a deep breath and walked to the door. She wasn't thinking until now. She was so angry at him that she had no time to think it over…

**Jane POV**

He lay on his bed and watched the ceiling. Lydia had to come to him this afternoon and he was going to ask her if he could phone Lisbon. Finally he saw some hope…

That was when he heard the three little knocks on the door. He jumped up curiously and looked at the incomer.

He held back a gasp when he saw Lisbon entering the room. She looked at him with flaming eyes. She was really angry.

„Lisbon…" he cleared his throat „What a surprise..!"

„Oh,really?Tell me, what the hell were you thinking?" she hissed

„What do you mean?" he asked and was truly confused

„You hypnotized him didn't you?" she said her voice raising. He swallowed hard. _How did she know?_ „Jane,it was on the news!You really don't want to get out of here?"

„Of course I do!" he said

„Then why on earth do you have to do stupid things?I don't think the jury would be impressed with your little game…"

„I….just…I wanted to…" he didn't know what to say

„I know…have some fun!" she said angrily.

„No..I tried to make friends…" he mumbled

„Here?" she exclaimed

„Where else?" he raised his voice too. It was so fustrating. Standing this close to her and not being able to tell her how much he missed her,how much she meant to him, how much he loved her…Not being able to tell her that he never meant to hurt her,not being able to hug her tightly.

„Patrick…" her voice died away „You have friends…" she whispered

He couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't his angry boss Lisbon who stood in his cell anymore!It was his hurt best friend Teresa.

With two big steps he crossed the room and embraced her. He breathed in her scent so he could remember it later.

For a moment she melted into his arms but then she came to her senses._What the hell was she doing?_ She stepped back and shook her head.

„I'm sorry but I have to go…Please behave Jane!" she asked and looked into his eyes.

He nodded and smiled at her. For a long time it was a real megawatt 'Jane-smile'.Her lips twitched but she managed to keep back the smile. She turned around and left the room. Then she leaned on the closed door and sighed. God,she missed him so much…

Jane walked back to his bed and sat on the mattress. Warm happiness spreaded in his whole body and filled his heart. She still cared. She still came and yelled at him. She was really hurt…probably felt betrayed but she cared. His well being was important to her even if she didn't show. He just knew...

In weeks this was his happiest day and certainly not because the shining sun lightened his cell. He watched one of the beams and sighed. God ,he missed her so much…

**So this was it…I hope you liked it! :) Next chapter is up soon…!**

**Please tell me how it was?OK?Good? Bad? Horrible? Should I never write again…? Tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!:) And virtual kisses to all reviewers! :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Fifth chapter comes… Thank you for adding this story to favorites and thanks for reviewing! Sonseeahray thank you really much for your review it literally made my day! :)**

**Sorry if I got Jane a little bit out of character but I wanted this to be a bit more fluffy than it could be with him totally in character…So please enjoy! :) **

_Disclaimer: Sadly The mentalist is not mine and probably never will be…._

_I love her. That's it. I love Teresa Lisbon , my boss. Or ex-boss…I don't even know if I'm fired or not! Nobody told me a word about that…_Patrick Jane's thoughts were running in his head like a rollercoaster. He sat in his cell and waited for a guard to come for him. Today was the day. His trial. He will see her again. Funny, he wasn't even really afraid of the decision that is going to be made today. He only seemed to care about the thing that he will see Lisbon that day. Since she visited him Jane couldn't think of anything else but her. Because now he couldn't deny it. He had totally fallen for her. He knew that she was the closest person alive in the world to him but he hadn't realized that he was head over heals in love with her until he didn't have the opportunity to see Lisbon every day. He dreamed with her every night and woke up with the thought of her every day. He imagined that one day she will forgive him. He will be free and she won't be mad anymore and then they could be together. Maybe, just maybe she felt the same way. At least a little… _Who do you want to fool? She can't feel the same! You've only caused her trouble and headache! You don't deserve her..! You are no good for her and she must know it too! _Jane squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head. He had to stop thinking like that! It only let to pain, convincing himself that he meant nothing to Teresa. But he knew it wasn't true…She might not love him in the way he loved her but she loved him as a friend. And that was way more than he could expected. Especially in this situation.

She saved him so many times he lost count of it. From himself and others too. She tried to fix him when everybody else gave up. She was his friend on his dark days and was nice with him even if she knew his worst side…

„_I'm looking for someone who….Someone I can trust, someone strong, someone…at peace with themeselves, someone better than me, someone who knows the..worst side of me and still loves me..!"_

The memory filled his head and tears formed in his eyes. Angela…He described his beloved wife then. Was he betraying her now? Or was it just a sudden thing with Lisbon? Not lasting much… Probably it was. He had always loved Angela. Just her…

His wife's face appeared in his head. She smiled at him and shook her head. He was confused, but then Angela shot him a look which meant 'You know what I mean…'

And he knew. Of course he did. He loved Lisbon with all of his heart and knew that Angela wouldn't feel betrayed. She would be so glad that he could finally move on. That he is happy. On that video he not only described his wife. It was all true to Lisbon too. He will always love Angela and Charlotte of course, but she was his second chance to be happy. And he won't let it go…

**Okay, I'm really sorry for the extremely short chapter but I decided that I want the next happenings in one separate chapter and then I will write a chapter with Lisbon's thoughts too. You will see...  
>Next chapter will be up very soon though, because I have almost the whole chapter in my head so I just have to write it! Hopefully I can upload it tomorow! Please review! Thanks for reading! :)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm so sorry! I know I said yesterday..but I didn't have time to write it down…**

**So, next chapter…here ya' go! I really hope you will like it! Thanks for reviewing and to all the story alerts! They make me unbeliveably happy! :) **

_Disclaimer: Still not mine…_

The silence was almost hurting in the court room. Teresa Lisbon sat on the witness stand and she took the oath.

„Miss Lisbon! You said that you talked to the man befor his death, is it true? " the attorney asked her. She looked up, but carefully avoided his eyes.

„Yes, I talked to the last person Craig O'Laughlin called." She said calmly.

„ You are aware of the thing that the police couldn't find any phone call? „

„ I don't know what happened…"

„ Agent, you knew about Mr. Jane's plans but you didn't try to stop him. Why is that?"

„I…" she thought about it for a minute before she answered. „ Probably that's because I trusted him. I was led to false hope that when he will face Red John he will stand back and let the cops do their job. That when the day comes he will realize that revenge isn't going to help him, nor make his guilt less bad. That he will realize it doesn't worth it… I led myself into that false hope…Because I trusted him." she looked down and shook her head.

The silence vibrated again and the attorney stepped back.

„That was it thank you!" he said and sat down.

Teresa looked up and saw Jane's white face as he stared at her. She didn't let him see through her wall though. She quickly looked away and took care not to look at him again.

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„Did it worth it?"

The question which he wasn't prepared to hang in the air. He expected a lot of questions. Offensive, hurting, angry, and ones which brought bad memories back, but he didn't expect this. Patrick Jane stared out of his head, his thoughts were running. The words Lisbon said were echoing in his mind_. I trusted him_. In past tense. Did he really lose her trust? Did he really hurt her that much?

„ Please answer the question Mr. Jane !" the judge said

He slowly, guardedly chose his words.

„No, it didn't worth it. Killing Red John… that part I don't regret. But with that I hurt someone…I lost the trust of the most important person to me." At that he looked up straight to her and watched her reaction. She showed no signs of care. Althought when she glared into his eyes he saw some kind of shock. Maybe sadness but he couldn't be sure because she gazed away immediately.

„So, you don't even deny that you killed that man." Sounded the next question

„Why would I?" Patrick smiled and shook his head „At least fifty people saw me there, pulling the trigger. I did it, and I know it was Red John whether you believe it or not." Jane stated

„Tell me how do you know it was that serial killer? „

„I know it was him because he proved it. He told me _how my wife and child smelled like _when he killed them!" he said angrily emphasizing the words. The crowd rumbled. This detail wasn't known by everybody.

Jane watched her the whole time. Not once he took his eyes off of her. She bent her head into her hands when he talked about shooting Red John. And she noticeably winced at the words about his wife's smell.

When the jury calmed down the judge ordered a break. Patrick hoped that he will be able to speak a few words with Lisbon but as soon as the sentence was said she was out of the door. He didn't even had the chance to catch her. Then his guard came and took him into a further room. As they walked Jane glanced around to search for her and was quite sure that the dark brown flash that his eye caught at the other end of the corridor was Lisbon's hair. He sighed and sank deeply in his thoughts. _How could he escape from his guard just for a few minutes?_

Before they arrived to the room Jane's got an idea.

„I need to talk to my lawyer! „ he told the guard

„Okay, I think you can…" he said and rolled his eyes. They turned and walked back to the big hall where everyone else was waiting. As they went into the crowd Patrick waited some seconds then he slipped away unnoticed by his guard. He moved swiftly and all the time searched for Lisbon.

Finally he found her lonely form on the balcony. She leaned on the barrier and watched the city. He turned into her direction and maneuvered to the door.

„Lisbon!" he called for her silently

She frowned and turned around to face him.

„Jane! What are you doing here? „ she whispered loudly and stepped closer to him. He caught her arm and pulled her into a corner where nobody could see them.

„ I wanted to talk to you! You okay? „ he asked , his voice concerned.

„Yeah, why? „ she lied . Actually she wasn't fine. Her head ached and her stomach twisted all the time.

„ You don't look fine…" he said and when she raised her eyebrow at him he added „ You know what I mean! „

She sighed and looked at her feet.

„I'm good Jane. I suppose I'm just tired…"

„I see. Why don't you sleep?" he could see the dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep.

„ I can't…" she broke. She knew if this conversation continues Jane will find out everything about her problems because he could read her like an open book. „ What are you doing here? Where is your guard?" she tried to change the subject and eyed him suspiciously.

„Oh, don't worry! He is in this very room too! „ he smiled widely

„Jane! They are going to search for you! „ she snapped

„Oh, come on! I wanted some time in private with you…" he tried to convince her.

„But I don't have anything to say to you right now…" she said icely knowing that it will cool him down for a while. But this time she was wrong…

„Oh, yeah… You told everything in that court room. „ he muttered and then looked deeply into her green eyes „ You really feel that way? „ he asked, a little fear in his voice.

She didn't know how to answer this.

„I don't know Jane! „ she said angrily . She was confused. And his presence didn't help her in thinking. Luckily, his guard found out his escape and started to looke for him everywhere. Excited murmur flew across the crowd and everyone looked around. Jane couldn't help himself and chuckled a little and Lisbon shot him a death glare. Then she smiled smugly.

„Hey! I found him! Jane is here! „ she shouted and all the while watched him. His mouth opened in silent shock and he shook his head slightly. Sending her the soundless message ' I can't belive you did that!' . His face turned into a sad mask and he looked at her with betrayed eyes. Jane could hear that his guard headed towards their corner. He looked at her again, this time his eyes sparkled with playfullness. He leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on Lisbon's cheek almost at the corner of her mouth. Jane heard her gasp a little and flashed her a satisfied smile before the guard arrived.

„See you later Lisbon! „ he said softly and turned to the angry man. „ I'm sorry…I got lost…" he told him in mock apology. The guard grabbed his arm and yanked him away from Lisbon.

She looked as they crossed the crowd, people stepping away from their way. She sighed and smiled to herself. _That man…_

**This was it! I hope you like it….Next chapter will be about Lisbon's thoughts and personally I can't wait to write a little bit in Lisbon's POV…I try to upload it soon…**

**Until then please tell me what you think! Thanks for reading! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! Here is the next chapter…In Lisbon's POV. I really find this challenging because I think Lisbon's character is very complicated …but we'll see! I hope you are going to like it! Thanks for reviewing and story/ author alerts! Love you all! You make my day brighter! :)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own The mentalist!_

What was going on with her? She felt so angry and hurt when she wasn't with him, but as soon as he was close to her it all seemed like to disappear. She wanted to shout his head down like in old times but when she looked at him, into his sea blue eyes…_What the hell?Sea blue eyes?_ Teresa Lisbon shook her head. She sat on her terrace in her little garden. The cold, night air felt refreshing on her skin and she thought it might be helping her in thinking clearly.

At the same time she wanted to punch Patrick Jane in the face and wanted to help him. Van Pelt said that they should try and believe him. Maybe do some search for his help. Rigsby as always was on her side with this. Cho stayed silent, and Lisbon could understand him. He felt betrayed.

In fact Teresa just wanted to know the truth. No matter how hard it would be to know that her best friend killed someone who wasn't even Red John.

Thinking of Jane made her anxious. There was an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach which she wasn't used to have. She was confused all the time and Teresa Lisbon didn't like to be confused at all. She caught herself thinking about him in the middle of the day and felt the knot in her throat whenever she heard his name in the office.

_What is wrong with me?_ She tried to shrink herself. It didn't help… Why did Patrick had such an effect on her? She was angry at him because he made her feel like this.

_What if this is just another game he plays with me?_ She thought. _Maybe he hypnotized me, or something. _But then she thought it over again…No, he wouldn't dare to do that!

_But that smug grin on his face today…and he kissed me! _And there was it agin! That freakin' twist in her tummy. She took a deep breath to clear her mind.

She was sure in one thing about her feelings. She was hurt. She was hurt like hell. The pain in her heart was almost physical and she felt it spread across her whole body when Jane came into her mind. How could he do that to us? She didn't understand… But then again, she should have known better. Actually, he told her a long time ago. He warned her that he is going to do it. She never belived him, she always thought that he could never do such a thing like killing someone. The always shiny and smiling Patrick Jane! The one who pissed off everybody around him - including Lisbon herself - , the one who made fun of the boss, the one who played with bubbles at the beach. The one who was her best friend. No, it wasn't her best friend who shot that man. It couldn't be…

That day at the mall, he suddenly stopped being her best friend Patrick and he became that dark shadow of himself who was able to kill a man. When he told her 'I'll call you back! 'on the phone something turned inside of him. The Patrick Jane who pulled the trigger that day wasn't the same Jane who she loved. She was perfectly sure about this. But when she looked into his eyes, deep inside she still saw the old sparkle. The one which made her belive that there was still hope. That he hadn't changed completely into a cold-blooded killer. That sparkle was left from the Patrick Jane she knew.

Lisbon felt slightly dissapointed though. She thought he was over this. She hoped… At least that he realized that it wouldn't be a good idea if he killed Red John. Maybe if she would be there… maybe then he wouldn't do it….

But why was she so sure in him in the first place? She remembered the time when she told him she didn't trust him. When did that change? Somewhere over the years he became more important to her and she didn't even notice it… That's why it hurt her this much. That's why it had a bigger effect on her than the others. She learnt how to trust him. How to be his friend even though he annoyed the hell out of her every day. She started to love him along his flaws. But was it more? Maybe she fell for him and she didn't even notice it? Could it be that strange feeling? Did she fall in love with Patrick Jane…?

„ Nonsense! „ she said out loud to herself. „ Great, now I'm talking to myself… Thanks Jane!" she murmured and got up from her chair. It was enough of night air. This man is going to make her crazy! No, she didn't fall for him! She couldn't…

Lisbon shook her head as she headed towards her bedroom. She knew what she had to do. She will do some search as Grace suggested and she will clear his name. And then, this feeling will disappear. Just as fast as it came… Because she couldn't fall for him!

**So? How was it? Please tell me your thoughts! Did I got Lisbon's character well? I know it's not perfect but I hope you liked it! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) **

**I hope I can upload the next chapter soon! ;) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi Guys! This chapter will be in Lisbon's POV too, I hope you don't mind…:) This way we can see how the investigation goes! **

**Remember, reviews make me happy!**

_Disclaimer: Why, oh tell me why don't I own it? I have no idea…but I still don't own it…:(_

„Okay everybody! Lets say that we believe Jane! Now we need to find that gun then." Lisbon stood in front of her team in the bullpen. They barely could believe their own ears when they heard her decision about helping Patrick. Nobody asked why did she change her mind and she was grateful for that. „ Any ideas?" she asked even though she had one. VanPelt, Rigsby and Cho looked at each other and thought for a moment then the redhead began to speak.

„Maybe we could check the mall 's security cameras!" Grace said quietly.

„Good, that was my idea too!" Lisbon nodded and the team moved to VanPelt's computer. She typed some details and they waited. The results came quickly and a minute later they were watching the records of that very day. VanPelt jumped to the hour in question and they stayed still, waiting for the thing which they all know will happen soon.

„There we come…" Cho pointed at three man walking into the sight of the camera. One of them turned in the direction of the tables. „That's Jane!" he added even if they all knew.

„There comes Bertram.." Rigsby said when the man appeared beside Jane. They sat down and the game started. Jane talked with Bertram. They couldn't hear the words but it was obvious what did they say.

„ A few minutes…" Cho whispered and they all stood nervously. None of them had seen this video because they were told that they can't search for this case.

Teresa watched the tape with her breath hitched in her lungs. Suddenly Bertram stood up and Jane searched for his phone. She knew what was coming… Bertram raced out of the mall and out of the picture. Then Patrick started to talk, his face nervous, his whole body stiff. Lisbon could perfectly remember the words he had been saying to her. Her breathing faltered and she felt blood rush to her cheeks as she replayed the events in her mind.

„_It's not Bertram, it's O'Laughlin! O'Laughlin! Red John's man is O'Laughlin! „ _

She could almost feel the bullet which hit her body. The pain cursing through her and the blood spreading on her shirt making it damp. She sucked her breath in sharply as she remembered. She recalled the other three shots that ended Craig O'Laughlin's life. The shouting in her phone, Jane's over worried voice.

„_Lisbon!Lisbon!Lisbon! „_

Tears filler her eyes, blurring her sight. He was screaming for her like it was his life that depended on the answer. Teresa watched the video and saw how Jane clung to the phone. His face full of worry. No it wasn't just worry, it was far more. It was almost horror that appeared on his face. And when she gasped into the phone he started panting too. A relieved expression washed over his face and he took a deep breath.

Lisbon slightly shook her head and she concentrated back on the tape. Jane was waiting for her response when she redialed O'Laughlin's last call. He stared at a man near him who talked on his phone. When he got Lisbon's answer he frowned and quickly hang up.

Jane stood up and headed to the man next to his table. His face grim and emotionless.

The air around the team in the CBI HQ become cold as they desperately searched for something useful on the video.

Lisbon leant a little forward when the two men on the tape stood up. She felt her hand shaking as she brushed her hair behind her ear.

VanPelt looked up at Lisbon from her chair with concern in her eyes. She knew what was going around in Lisbon's head. She knew exacly how her boss felt. And she was truly sorry for her. She has had so much pain in her life already, she didn't need any more…

When the three shots sounded Lisbon was visibly trembling. One tear flowed down on her cheek and she wiped it off in one swift movement. None of them said a word for a minute then she straightened up.

„Had anyone seen any useful?" she asked as she looked at her team. They all shook their heads sadly. „Okay, never mind! We won't give up...we just need time! VanPelt, could you send this video to my laptop? „ Lisbon started to walk away from them. She needed some time alone…

„Sure! It will be on your laptop in 5 minutes boss…" Grace promised and then Lisbon was out of the room.

She stopped in the hall, thinking for a moment before she headed to the stairs and made her way to the attic. His attic…

The memories flooded through her mercilessly and she couldn't do anything to stop them. She collapsed on Jane's bed and she bursted out into sobs.

She spent fifteen minutes in the attic, crying and hurting. And when she got back to her office she still felt like crying. She made a coffee for herself and sat down in front of her laptop. She opened the tape which VanPelt sent her and she stared at the screen without knowing what she was looking at. She replayed it again and again. Her eyes fixed on Jane. She felt longing for him but she shook her head. She missed Jane, her old Jane. Not this Jane, this blinded-by-revenge Jane.

She didn't notice that she was silently crying until her tears made her cheeks swollen. She didn't hear any noise from the outside so she guessed it might be very late and everybody else got home. She clicked at 'Replay' once more and she put her chin into her hand. She watched it and suddenly something caught her attention. It may be nothing but she wanted to be sure so she watched it again and again. She glared at the screen and she stopped the tape. Could it be the answer she was searching for…?

**So, a little cliffhanger…Who hates me? Actually I hate myself for uploading this so late. I'm really sorry for it ! **

**I promise I try to write the next chapter soon! **

**Okay, reviews are LOVED! Please tell me your thoughts! Kisses to every reviewer and reader! Thanks for reding! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey Guys! Here is the next chapter, still with Lisbon in center. I hope you like the story! Reviews and story alerts make me incredibly happy! ;) **

_Disclaimer: I still don't own The mentalist_

Could it be there all the time in front of their eyes and she didn't notice it? Lisbon suddenly became very awake and she stared at her laptop screen. The picture on it showed Jane and her thoughts were running.

She told her team earlier that lets say they believe Patrick, so she had to believe him that there was a gun. But then where is it? If there was a gun, somebody had to took it away. And that somebody probably did it here in the mall. And if someone took the gun away in mall then the camera recorded it. Why didn't she think of this before? Maybe because it was too obvious….

She replayed the tape for what it seemed like the millionth time and she paid extra attention on the man's newspaper.

But when she watched the whole thing she couldn't find anything. She sighed disappointedly and shut her eyes closed. She wanted so desperately to find something that would prove his inocence. She needed to believe that he was innocent, that he was still her good friend. The same Patrick. She needed the hope…The hope that his name could get cleared and all the things would get back to normal. Of course she knew nothing would be ever the same, but she needed to believe in it. It gave her strength to hold on, to keep going. To wake up every morning, to get out of her bed and not to spend her whole day crying like a baby. To keep searching, and looking for evidence that he is not a cold-blooded killer. Because she knew that deep down he wasn't one. He was a great, intelligent man. With a wonderful heart, full ov love. Full of restrained love. Because he repressed all his love avoiding to show it. To let people get close to him. To let love make him happy. The only one he let close was her. Teresa Lisbon could break his wall. Or at least slit it a little. Enough to see through it, straight to his golden heard.

And she was the one who could understand him. She tried to show everybody a side of her which was strong, tough and cold and only some people knew the other side. The sensitive, caring, loving side. And sometimes Lisbon thought that Jane could see that side too. Some of his comments, his looks told her that he saw it.

And this made a weird connection between them. It was just the two of them against the world, or something like that...

Lisbon smiled slightly at that thought. He knew her and she knew him. Or at least she thought she knew him. Maybe that's why she needed so much to know that he is still the same Patrick. She had to know that her judgement wasn't wrong with him. That she didn't trust him for nothing. Totally wrongly…

So now she breathed out heavily and started over again. And finally she saw something strange. She replayed and made sure it was something. When Jane stood up and headed to the table next to him a guy in red jacket stood up too. Just in the same second. It couldn't be accidental.

Her body was tense as she tried to enlarge the picture to see the man's face. She couldn't…

She bit her lip angrily and shook her head. vanPelt could easily do it but she went home hours ago. This meant Lisbon had to wait until tomorow morning to find out who is the stranger.

Somewhere deep in her guts she knew this was the thing she was searching for…This was the thing that could lead her somewhere further…

But still, if she got this man she couldn't be sure he took the gun away. So Lisbon watched the tape again, now paying more attention on the end. She saw the shots and then the police. There was nothing… Again…She watched Patrick's face as he sat down into a chair next to the dead body and her heart broke. But then as she looked at his face intensely something changed. There was a skip in the tape. A very small, almost unnoticeable skip. But she didn't miss it. She narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to the screen. Yes, it was definetely there. And before the skip, there was a little red flash at the edge of the picture. Barely a second but she caught it.

Suddenly she grinned, totally plesed with her find. And she knew exacly what she wanted to do at the moment…

She stood up and grabbed her purse. She exited her office and headed to the parking lot while she pulled out her phone. She dialed the prison and asked for Patrick Jane.

„Hallo!" came the answer. His voice was sleepy and she remembered that it was probably not the best timing in the middle of the night.

„Hey Jane! It's me…" she said quietly while she got in her car.

„Lisbon…Hi!" she could hear he was surprised.

„ I just wanted to tell you that I …That we…the team watched the security video of the mall…"

„ You did what?" he was stunned „I thought you can't do anything in my case…"

„Yeah, well…we did…and I think I found something interesting…" Lisbon smiled.

„ Of course you did…" he said softly and his voice told her that he was smiling.

„So, tomorow I will get VanPelt check it, and then we will find out if I got it right or not…" she continued and stopped for a minute before going on „Don't worry Jane! We're on it!"

„Thank you Lisbon! It really mean the world to me! „ he said honestly

„Okay, I have to go now…Good night and I'm sorry if I woke you…" she said and started the car.

„ You didn't…Sweet dreams Teresa! „ Jane said and hung up.

Lisbon drove home and fall asleep with a comfortable feeling. And the thought that there is still hope…

**Okay, this was it! How you like it? Good? Bad? Tell me! Thanks for reading! Next chapter hopefully up in two-three days…;)**

**Review! It would mean the world! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh God Everyone! Your reviews make me so happy I literally want to jump up and run around laughing and dancing….Ok, I didn't do it..but you get it! THANK YOU! I have the best readers on Earth! And thanks for the story and author alerts too! :)**

**So here is the next chapter! I hope you like it! ;)**

_Disclaimer: Still don't own it…but I'm quite satisfied how they do it so maybe it's better this way…;) Just think about it…it would get quite boring if Lisbon and Jane always would make out! :)_

Patrick Jane fell asleep with a smile on his face. A huge smile… Teresa had called him. She was searching, and it meant she believed him. At least a little bit. It meant she still hoped that he wasn't a whole other person.

Actually, he did changed but only in good ways. He didn't become a killer…But he realized a lot of feelings.

When he heard her voice his heart started to beat faster and a shiny smile spread across his face. And when she told him why she was calling warm,unstoppable happiness filled his body.

He should know that this couldn't last long. This kind of a feeling never lasts long… He was happy and he didn't even thought that there must be something that will ruin it. He bathed in the feeling and smiled all day long. So when a guard came to him with a letter he even hoped that Lisbon or one of his friends at the CBI wrote him. So his surprise was even bigger when he opened it.

As he pulled out the paper from the envelope his legs weakened and he collapsed on his bed. He stared at the paper in his shaking hands and his mouth was opened wide in shock.

In his hands there was a white paper with a big red smily face in the middle of it. On the bottom there was a sign with red: _You really though it's over?_

He took a shaky breath and stood up with trembling legs. He walked to the phones and dialed a number he knew by heart.

„Lisbon! „ she answered within ten seconds.

„Hey, it's Jane! We need to talk right now! „ he said hoarsely.

„What's wrong, Jane?" her voice was worried immediately.

„Just come here please! „ he begged her. He didn't want to tell this on the phone.

„Okay…I..I'll be there in 15 minutes! Ok? „ she said

„Please hurry! „ Jane said and hang up.

He started pacing the visitors room and only stopped when he heard her steps.

„Jane! What's up? „ Lisbon entered the room.

„Close the door…" he quickly said and when she did he steped closer to her." I received a letter today…This was in it." He showed her the paper and saw that she went pale in the second she recognized the thing.

„This…this mean…you…You are in danger! „ Lisbon said and pulled her phone out.

„Wait! What are you doing?" Patrick grabbed her wrist and stopped her. When their skin touched an electric sparkle ran across his body but he didn't care at the moment.

„I call Cho. He will come and take you to a safe place! „ Lisbon said her voice is authoritative.

„ But…" he started but Lisbon interrupted him.

„ No protesting! You will go with Cho." she looked down on her wrist which was still in his grasp. He looked there too and let go of her hand.

„What about you?" he was slightly disappointed that not Lisbon will be his new guard. He hoped that he could spend more time with her.

„ I'll be back in the office with VanPelt and we are going to find whoever sent this to you! She is working on the video that we watched yesterday, trying to find out who is the mysterious man in red."

„No! Please don't work on this case! You were told not to and this could get you in danger."

„I don't care! „ she shouted and he immediately stayed silent." Don't you see that we are in danger anyway? We are cops…how many times I have to say this to you? We won't let you alone because you could get us in danger! We live our lives in danger. You are our friend, the part of the family and we will stand by you! Or…at least I will… But it seems like to me that the team is with me too! „

„I…I just don't want you to be in danger…I couldn't live with the thought that something happened to you because of me…" Jane looked down on his feet.

„ Something always happens to me because of you Jane! „ Lisbon smiled and touched his arm gently. „Look at me! I won't leave you alone with this! No matter how hard you will try to push us away…I won't let you do it. Just remember how many good thigs happened to me because of you! Maybe or perhaps this won't be an easy ride. This won't be a pleasant thing which we remember with laughs. But maybe later we will be just smiling on it. I really hope that in the future we could all get over this crap and live our lives again. But until then we are here for each other. That is what friends are for. What family are for…"

„Woah…I…I…" he stammered „Thank you Lisbon!" Jane said and suddenly he hugged her tightly. He felt her tense a little at the sudden contact but she melted into his arms in seconds. But just when she started to enjoy it she remembered why they were there…

„I should go…" she muttered

„Oh…you really should?" Jane's face fell and she smiled.

„Yeah…I call Cho from the car!" she stepped away from him reluctantly.

„Okay. Please take care of yourself and don't do anything dangerous!" he told her

„Dangerous? Me? „ Lisbon laughed.

Jane looked at the woman in front of him and he felt a load of fondness spread in his heart. He leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Lisbon blushed and turned away to cover her embarrassment.

„I..I see you later…!" she muttered and left the room.

Jane looked back at the paper in his hands and immediately remembered the situation. He sighed a deep and sat back into his chair. He was curious what Lisbon will do to get him out of here…

**This was it…Hope you liked it! Please review and let me know! :)**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! Love all my readers! :)**

**Oh and by the way…I just saw a great idea and wanted to ask you if you would like to read some spoiler of the next chapter in the end of each chapter…I thought it may be a good thing…What do you think about it? :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**Wooah! You are awesome guys! I didn't expect such great readers and I'm so grateful! :)**

**Thank you for the reviews and story/ author alerts! They make me so happy!**

**Sonseeahray I don't want Patrick to suffer either but it seems like it's necessary for the story line…But I promise you he will be happy in the end!;) **

**Thanks for reading!**

_Disclaimer: No…Do I really have to write it again? It hurts…But I still don't own The mentalist._

Lisbon rushed into the bullpen and headed to VanPelt's desk. The young agent concentrated on the screen of her computer and typed crazily. As her fingers ran across the keyboard she looked up and smiled at Lisbon.

„Hey Boss! I've got something for you…!" Grace said when Lisbon stood beside her.

„Okay…show me!" Lisbon nodded.

„What's up with Jane?" VanPelt asked and her voice was concerned.

„Cho brought him to a safe place and stayed with him. He and Rigsby are going to take care of Jane." Lisbon told her and looked at the screen. „What do you got?"

„Oh..yeah..the man you saw on the tape. It wasn't easy but I sharpened the picture and got this new one! „ VanPelt showed Lisbon a picture of the man in the mall. He had brown eyes and a red baseball hat on his head. His face was calm but Lisbon could see something like excitement on it. „ His name…that is a different thing…" Grace continued „He had many many names over the years. Believe me or not he had 10 names in 5 years!"

„What?" Lisbon scowled

„Yeah…he was Rick Jackett, Jonas Reed, Jackson Rogers, Richard Johnson and Roy Joeulle and a lot more…"

„R.J. and J.R…all of it…! It's a bit too obvious, isn't it? „ Lisbon asked

„Maybe yes. But nobody searched for him I guess because he hasn't got any criminal record or misdemeanor. He seems completely normal and clear."

„But he isn't!" Lisbon snapped

„Yes, I know..I was just saying that … never mind!" VanPelt blushed a little."I hadn't find his house yet I still have some things to untangle…"

„Yeah, just do it! And call me when you are ready I will be in my office." Lisbon said and turned to walk away when she heard Grace again.

„Boss? Where is Rigsby? I mean…if Cho is with patrick then he could help me…" she asked timidly

„Rigby went to relieve Cho. They will switch turns and of course they will help us!" Lisbon smiled and went to her office.

She sank into her chair and sighed. How much she would love to be Jane's guard. But she knew that this wouldn't be a good idea. It was enough that they were involved in this case. It would be too much for her if she had to be him in every minute of the day…

_Admit it, you would love it!_ A small vioce in her head told her evilly and she closed her eyes to shut the thought out. She can't bear with her thoughts right now. Not with these thoughts. She will have time to think about them when Jane was really safe. And they were all over this…

She bent her head into her hands when VanPelt knocked on her door.

„Hey boss! I think I found something…" she said and entered the office with a file in her hands.

...

Cho led Patrick into a room. It was quite homey. There was a big couch, a table with two chairs. A bed in the corner of it and a bookshelf. There was no Tv or radio but Jane didn't mind it. The room had only one window but it had a nice view on the ocean. It wasn't close to it but Patrick could see the birds flying high above the water.

He sat down on the bed, rubbing his eyes. Cho followed him into the room and took a book from the shelf.

„You can sleep if you want! I don't mind.." Cho said and sat down on a chair.

„Thanks Cho but I'm not sleepy at the moment. I'm just tired of all these things…" Patrick said with a smile." I know you hate this. You must want to be at the CBI doing the inetersting stuff, right?"

„I'm OK. Rigsby is going to switch me off in an hour…" Cho said and opened the book.

„Oh…Will Grace come too?" Patrick asked and it was obvious even to Cho that Jane wasn't curious about Grace. He was curious about Lisbon.

„I don't know…we hope that you won't have to stay here long…But .._Grace_..didn't plan to come here.." Cho smirked as he emphasized VanPelt's name in intention to tell Patrick that he knows who he was thinking about.

„Oh..okay..not that I care…" Jane turned away a little and walked to the window.

„Sure." Cho murmured and continued reading.

Patrick stared out of the window. His gaze followed the birds and wandered over the sea, looking for something that would catch his attention. He needed some distraction from his thoughts about Lisbon. Because, after all he couldn't deny that she was all his thoughts were about at the moment. He wondered where she could be and what she could do. And of course Jane was curious if he ever crossed her mind since they were apart…

Probably yes. But only in swears. He chuckled at this. He missed her so much. He wanted to see her shouting at him in anger, her green eyes flaming, her face flushed a bit. He wanted their old lives back.

_You screwed it up, buddy! _He thought to himself and pressed his lips together. Until this morning it wasn't so bad. He really believed that he killed Red John, the seriall killer who murdered his family. But now he wasn't so sure. He couldn't be so sure…

And now Lisbon and actually all of the team were in danger because of him and he couldn't even help them. This fustrated the hell out of him.

„Listen Cho! Maybe I could help…" he said but the agent interrupted him.

„Don't even start that Jane! I won't let you go anywhere…That was the order and we are staying. Or at least you are staying because Rigsby will be here any minute and then I'm out of here…" Cho said calmly.

Patrick sighed and pouted.

„But Cho…"

„No!"

Jane sat down on the other chair and started to hum. They stayed like this for a few minutes until they heard a car park outside. Cho marked the page he was on and closed the book. Jane didn't move but his attention was on the door too. Somewhere deep down he still hoped that Teresa would come in. So when the door flew open and Rigsby walked in he couldn't help but let out a small disappointed sigh.

„Hey man!" Rigsby smiled at Cho and the agent stood up. „You can go now…Boss needs you anyway…She and Grace found something. The man…" Rigsby said but Cho interrupted.

„Hey! He can't hear that..!" Cho pointed at Jane „You heard the order…" he said.

„Oh, yeah..sorry Jane!" Rigsby grinned with sympathy.

„Never mind.." Patrick waved his hand like it was nothing. But inside he was aching to hear the news. He wasn't used to the thing that his colleauges had to keep a secret from him. He wanted to know what Lisbon found so badly but he didn't push it. It was her will, after all…

Cho and Rigsby went out of the room and stood on the corridor. Rigsby informed Cho and when the other agent left he re-entered the room.

Jane waited for him int he same position and only looked up when Rigsby sat into the chair in front of him.

„ So, what's up?" Jane asked

„Jane, you know I can't tell you…and please don't try to make me!" Rigsby told him.

„Okay…I wasn't thinking about the case in fact. I just wanted to know how are you doing nowdays…I haven't heard of you for a while…" Patrick grinned.

„Oh…sorry…" the agent looked down on the table. „I'm fine thanks. How about you?"

„I'm great! Prison is boring, a food is bad and they don't let me drink my tea like I want to, so I'm only hoping for some positive change…How is Grace?"

„She…She's ..dealig with it. In her own ways…" Rigsby still fixed his stare at the table. He started to rub his hands together. „Lisbon sent her to a therapist…She is going to him every week and it seems like he helps her. So it's a good thing. It was very hard at first. She always cried and came to work restlessly. When it was very noticeable Libon told her to go and see this shrink and it's getting better since then…"

„She will come around Wayne..Don't worry about her. She is strong! Stronger than you would think…" Patrick reassured him.

„Yeah I know but it's so hard to see her hurt…" Rigsby's voice died away

„I know…" Jane muttered and his thoughts went back to his raven-haired boss. He didn't want to see her hurt. He was so worried about her that it made him crazy. But he shook his head. He couldn't help her with going mad, he had to work out a plan. First of all, somehow make her come to him…

His thoughts were stopped by a ringing. Rigsby pulled out his phone and picked it up.

„Hey Grace! I'm with Jane. What's up?" he asked and Jane immediately held his hands out, asking Rigsby to give him the phone. He wanted to speak with her. Maybe she would tell him something… But Rigsby scowled and shook his head."What? Cho is going back to the office now. I can't leave Jane alone…But where is she? What? How?" Rigsby asked and started pacing across the room.

Jane jumped up from the chair, alarmed and his stomach twitched. Something was wrong! He could tell by the tall agent's voice. Rigsby suddenly became worried, his whole frame fearful. And Jane knew somthing happened with Lisbon. Rigsby asked 'Where is she?' and if the 'she' wasn't Grace then it could only be Lisbon.

„Okay. Listen Grace! I stay here and you call Cho! He will hopefully know what to do. Until then try to find her..I..I know you are trying but just go on. After you talk with Cho, call me back and tell me what he said! OK? Thanks! Bye Grace! Don't worry!" he hang up and turned to face Jane who was standing next to the table, almost trembling.

Jane was afraid of what he will hear. He saw in Rigsby's eyes that the agent is going to tell him everything.

But the sound of a letter sliding under the door cut him off. Rigsby went and took it up. He looked at it curiously and read the name on it.

„It's for you…" he said confusedly to Jane. Patrick held out his hand and Rigsby put the light paper into it. Jane winced at the sight of the envelope. He knew this paper, this handwriting…

He opened it with shaky hands and almost fell down on the floor when he read the sentence inside : _She is next!_

After this sentence he didn't hear, didn't see anything else. His mind ran over and over the different horror stories he quickly made up to himself…His heart pounded like it would want to jump out of his chest and he panted. He didn't hear Rigsby asking what is it, it didn't matter at the time! The only thing that was on his mind was _'Not her'_!

Next coming: 

„She went alone and told me not to follow her. We were talking on the phone when she entered the builing but then everything went off. I tried to call her back but she didn't answer…Oh..if I went with her she wouldn't be in danger now.." Grace sobbed

„No..No..It's not true VanPelt! Calm down! You did what she asked for. Don't worry she is tough! She can take care of herself until we find her!" Cho tried to calm the girl down.

Just then two figures stormed in the bullpen and they headed straight to them.

„We need to find her now!" one of them shouted from far.

„Jane? What are you doing here?"

**Okay…this one is a bit longer, I hope you don't mind it! :) So…how was it? Good? Bad? Tell me please!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! I really never understood the writers who asked so desperately for reviews but now I think I get it…It makes my day to know what you think about my story! :) Love you all! Next chapter hopefully up soon! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi my dearest Readers! Thank you for reading the story and a huge thanks for all the reviews! Reviewers are my best friends…;)**

**So here is the next chapter..I hope you will like it!**

_Disclaimer: Still not mine…What do you think could I have a chance that Bruno Heller hires me? :)_

Lisbon walked into the warehouse like a leopard. Moving quickly, quietly and carefully. She had told VanPelt to stay at the office and wait for Cho. When she says the sign Grace and Cho and the backup will come in and arrest the mysterious man. That was the plan…

„ Don't worry VanPelt! Cho will arrive in any minutes and then you can come after me…" Lisbon told the agent on the phone as she opened a door in front of her. But when she stepped into the room her phone suddenly went silent. She scowled and pulled it away from her ear to take a look at it. The screen looked like any other time but when she tried to call VanPelt back it didn't do it.

„What the hell…?" she sweared and shook her head. Not a good sign… If she had no connection with the office she won't be able to tell them when they can come into the building.

She sighed but kept going further into the room. It was dark and cold. The air was dusty and Lisbon had to cough. She knew excaly how worried Grace could be in that moment so she decided that she will just look around in this room and then head back to her car and try to call the redheaded agent again.

Lisbon thought about a certain blond 'pain-in-the-ass' consultant she knew and smiled automatically. She just couldn't resist to let her smile spread across her face when it came to him. He was so stupid but still, she loved him so much…She loved him. That was the thing. _No, not like that…Oh yes…just like that!_ Her thoughts were debating again. _Damn you Patrick Jane!_

But then she heard it. The most freaky voice she had ever heard from behind her. Close. Too close.

„Well, well…" murmured a man's voice and Libon turned immediately. The smile disappeared from her face just as fast as her hand flew to her waistband to pull her gun out. „ The brave little cop came to visit me! What a pleasure to meet you Teresa Lisbon! Finally…" the man was the same she saw on the tape. This time he wore a black, short sleeved shirt and jeans. He smiled smugly as he pointed his gun at her. „You better throw it away!" he gestured towards Lisbon's weapon.

Teresa felt a slight wave of fear approach her but the swallowed it. She was Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon after all. She shouldn't even know the meaning of fear!

But in that moment she realized that she knew it. She knew it too well. She was trying so hard to hide it, to repress it but she was a human for God's sakes! And now she was alone…Completely alone, without any backup or her team, or even Jane. He was annoying as hell but she would liked nothing more than having him there with her in that second.

Then she realized who was she facing and changed her mind…It would probably end badly if Jane would be there…As she thought abou Patrick she thanked herself that she was smart enough to get him to a safe place. Rigsby should be with him now and he couldn't get hurt…

But maybe this mystery man didn't know that she was alone…

„ You better put that gun down or my team will come in and blow your head off in a minute!„ she said more calmly that she felt. She was even more terrified when she saw that the man started to laugh.

„Your team? My ass, dear Lisbon!" she winced at the style. It was so much like Jane's…" You team hardy even know where you are. Okay..they might know ..but you have no connection with them, have you?" he smiled again „Of course you don't have! I made this building totally isolated. They can't reach you…We are alone…"

Lisbon swallowed hard. _It worth a try at least! _She thought.

„Now, if you please drop that gun and we can talk like adults…" the man said and Teresa could hear some impatience in his voice. When she didn't move his eyes flamed up and he looked more dangerous than ever.

She slowly let her gun slip out of her fingers but her eyes didn't leave the man's.

„You are Red John? „ it was more like a statement than a queston but the man nodded.

„Yeah, some people know me as Red John…" his smile evil „Now, come on! I know a better place to talk…" and he waved her with his gun to go afore him.

Lisbon reluctantly strolled through the room and headed up the stairs in front of her. She definetely had no idea what she had gotten herself into…And it was just the beggining!

After her the man had only one thought in his head: _Time to play!_

….

„She went alone and told me not to follow her. We were talking on the phone when she entered the builing but then everything went off. I tried to call her back but she didn't answer…Oh..if I went with her she wouldn't be in danger now.." Grace sobbed

„No..No..It's not true VanPelt! Calm down! You did what she asked for. Don't worry she is tough! She can take care of herself until we find her!" Cho tried to calm the girl down.

Just then two figures stormed in the bullpen and they headed straight to them.

„We need to find her now!" one of them shouted from far.

„Jane? What are you doing here?" Cho looked up scowling at Rigsby who shrugged apologically.

„Sorry Cho but we got quite a sitution here…I think we might need him. And I couldn't calm him down…" he admitted

„She is in danger!" Jane said

„How do you know so well?" Grace sniffled and Patrick pulled the letter he recieved out of his jacket's pocket.

„I got this only 10 minutes ago, just when you found out you can't contact her…"

„Oh my god…" VanPelt sighed and another wave of crying hit her. Rigsby sat besid eher and hugged her tightly.

„Shh…It's okay…" he whispered to her gently and Jane almost wanted to shout at him. It wasn't alright at all. Lisbon was in serious danger and they had to find her! When she will be with him, probably in his arm again then it will be okay…But until the he is going to search for her crazly.

„Let's start it, okay?" Cho suggested and typed something into VanPelt's computer." She went here…right?" he asked when an adress appeared on the screen.

„Yeah…" Grace said hoarsely then she cleared her throath." We need to go after her!"

„Sure…But there is a chance that she isn't there anymore…" Jane snapped.

„Then we will deal with that than…Now, Jane you're coming with me because it seems like you can manipulate Rigsby too much! No offense buddy! " Cho decided and headed to the parking lot. Jane followed him like a puppy and got into the agent's car. He would follow him anywhere if he led him to Lisbon.

Jane knew deep inside of his heart that this was no game. Teresa's life was in serious danger and he needed to help her. Actually he was quite sure that he is the only one who could save her from Red John. Because now he was sure that behind all this was Red John. Maybe this time, the real Red John. And if he hurts Lisbon Jane was sure as hell he is going to kill him!

No matter how hard his punishment would be…he would kill him without thinking. If he just hurt her in any way…he was a dead man.

Cho's car parked in front of a buliding and Jane got off.

„Jane, be careful and stay with me!" Cho ordered but Jane didn't hear it. He went straight to the big door and opened it. Cho shook his head and followed him. „Jane! Didn't you hear me? Behind me! This could be dangerous and if you do anything stupid it would costs Lisbon's life…You don't want that, do you?" this time Jane stopped and turned around. He waited for Cho and let him in first. Cho smiled slightly, he knew excacly how to talk with Jane.

The two men went through the same doors Teresa walked through and entered the same room she did.

Jane looked around int he dust, trying to see anything clearly. It was annoyingly dark int here.

„Lisbon? You here?" he asked around but there was no answer.

„She isn't here…" Cho said and pressed his lips together to cover his slight fear. He wasn't one who got scared so easily but the loss of his boss made him a bit nervous. She was the leader after all…"I saw a door there too" he pointed backwards „I go and see if she is there…You, go back to the car! Right?" he said to Jane.

„Sure!" Jane muttered and kneeled down on the floor to take a look at a weird spot. It was red and he got the feeling that it's blood. He growled.

_If this is her blood you are dead Red John!_ He thought to himself. He stood up and realized that Cho had left and he was alone. Suddenly he spotted a stair int he back of the room. He hadn't see it before because of the darkness. He went to it and went upstairs even if he knew that Cho had told thim otherwise. He didn't care what Cho told, the only thing he cared about right now was finding Lisbon. And Jane felt in his guts that Teresa was there…

He hurried to the only door that was on that corridor and opened it. Or at least he tried because it was closed. He pushed it some more but it didn't move. He had to get in there!

He searched in his pant pocket until he found the little, thin metal he used to open doors with.

He sticked it into the lock and moved in until he heard the click and ther door opened for him.

When Jane entered the room his blood ran cold and all his thought were gone. All he could think about was the scene before him. He couldn't breathe for a second and when he was able to take a breath he found himself gasping. Tears blurred his vision and he stepped inside with trembling legs. His eyes glued to this nightmare he saw in front of him. The door closed behind him automatically but he couldn't care less…

Next coming:

„Oh, how sweet is this…" the man said blandly. „So pity that this happens with you again, isn't it Patrick? Seems like to me that falling in love doesn't worth it to you…Or other people…I mean who would want to get killed because of you Patrick Jane?" he laughed cruelly.

Jane looked up at him from his kneeling position and he wanted to kill him immediately. The only thing that stopped him was the gun pointing at his head.

„Why her? Why did you have to pick her?" he asked desperately trying not to cry as he held her unconscious body.

„Because you love her…"

**Wooh…a bit of a cliffhanger again..Not too much because I think we all can guess what will he find in the room…**

**I'm sorry for the angst but I like a little drama…It will have a happy ending though, I promise!**

**What did you think? Was it good? Bad? Tell me! **

**I love reviews and reviewers! Thanks for reading, I'm grateful for you Guys! :)**

**I hope I can upload the next chapter tomorow but I'm not sure so I don't promise anything…Maybe reviews can make my fingers faster…;) Please review! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi Readers! Here is the next chapter! I'm glad you liked last chapter and I hope you will like this one too! :) **

**Thank you for reading and reviews really make me happy! So…keep up the good habit and please tell me what you think! ;)**

_Disclaimer: Not mine...:( Wooh..what could it be like if The mentalist would be mine? Ooohhh…*dreaming face*_

Patrick Jane rushed into the room and kneeled down beside Lisbon. Her body was motionless and cold. Tears flow down on his face unstoppable as he took her pale hands into his.

„Lisbon! Please…wake up! Move! Say something…" he begged her as he caressed her pretty face. His fingers traced across her cheek and his own tears made her skin wet.

Her breathing was erratic. She was alive but unconscious…

Her arm was bruised and Jane winced at the sight. He wasn't able to check her other bodyparts if they were hurt too…His anger rose and his fist flinched.

„I'm so sorry Teresa!" he cried.

Suddenly a man entered the room. He had a weapon in his hand and pointed it at Patrick.

Jane looked up at him with shining hatred in his eyes. Without a word he knew that it was him. Red John. His old nemesis, his enemy from the start. Who ruined his life once and was about do to it again…

The man looked down at them. Lisbon laying movelessly in Patrick's hands and his mouth turned into a smile.

„Oh, how sweet is this…" the man said blandly. „So pity that this happens with you again, isn't it Patrick? Seems like to me that falling in love doesn't worth it to you…Or other people…I mean who would want to get killed because of you Patrick Jane?" he laughed cruelly.

Jane looked up at him from his kneeling position and he wanted to kill him immediately. The only thing that stopped him was the gun pointing at his head.

„Why her? Why did you have to pick her?" he asked desperately trying not to cry as he held her unconscious body.

„Because you love her…"

There was a moment of silence before Jane answered.

„No I don't…" he lied.

The man bursted out into laughing and took a step closer.

„You really think you can fool me Patrick? Remember who I am…You can't even fool yourself with this…"

Jane had to admit that this time Red John was right. He couldn't fool himself either. He loved her, of course he loved her. How could he not? But right now he had to find a way to escape from this evil man. He needed to get Lisbon to a hospital immediately.

As his thoughts ran over in his head with the different ideas he had totally forgotten his revenge. Or the thing that he wanted to kill him because of hurting Lisbon. The only thing he cared about was saving Lisbon's life!

„My colleague Cho is downstairs, searching for Lisbon. He will notice my missing and he willcome up here. And unlike me he has a gun. And he can use it pretty good…" Jane said quietly.

„Oh..Sorry…He was your colleague?" Patrick's stomach winced at the word 'was' „I thought he's just a burglar and I shot him…" he chuckled when he saw Jane's expression.

„You really will let her die..?" he asked looking at Lisbon's body.

„Yeah..I guess..Why not?" Red John started to play with his gun. He spinned it around his finger and grinned at Jane.

„I…I stay here and you can kill me…You can kill me slowly, and painfully…Or however you want…Just, please let her go!" Jane said desperately. He knew that Red John wanted him. Wanted his pain and suffering.

„Hmm…" the man mocked considering but then shook his head „ No."

„Why not?" Jane exclaimed „You want me not her! Kill me instead of her…Hit me, kick me, cut me, shot me…whatever you want! „ he shouted to him.

Patrick was so into trying to convince the man to let Teresa go that he didn't even notice the slight move she made. Lisbon stirred in his arms and halfly opened her eyes. But none of the men in the room seemed to notice it…

„No…You are right in one thing..I want your pain…But it's much more pain for you to see her suffer because of you, than suffering yourself." The man stated.

Jane sighed deeply. He was right again. He could take any pain if he would just know that Lisbon wasn't in danger anymore. And seeing her pain was worse than anything…

„So that will be your game now? You always take away the one I love?" he asked brokenly.

„Yes! Brilliand, isn't it?" Red John seemed pleased with himself.

„And when does my turn comes?"

„I don't know…"

„What if I never fall in love again?" Jane asked.

„Oh…don't worry there would always be someone who is close to you…" the man smiled smugly.

„What if I end my own life…?" Patrick asked angrily.

„Oh, you could never do that…"

Jane didn't even bother asking how did he know. He was right. Suicide was a thing he could never do… But letting Lisbon die in his arms right now was another thing he would never do!

Teres alistened to all of this with closed eyes and stayed silent. First because she wasn't sure she could talk instead of screaming so she decided to shut her mouth. And second she was shocked when she heard what the two were talking about… When a longer break came into the conversation she tried to move her arm. It was painful but she could do it. She tried it with her legs too and the result was the same. But this time her moving wasn't stayed unnoticed.

„Lisbon! You awake? Can you hear me?" asked Jane's concerned voice.

She still didn't open her mouth she just nodded. She opened her eyes and found his watery blue ones in front of her. He slightly caressed her face with his thumb and she found it comforting even in this situation.

_What? Comforting? _She surprised even herself with this thing. But she couldn't deny it anymore.

„Teresa, please say something!" Jane begged her. Although he looked a little more relaxed now that she was awake.

„You shouldn't be here…I will shout Rigsby's head off!" she muttered.

Jane's mouth twitched but he stopped the smile forming on his lips.

„Are you hurting anywhere?"

„You mean..everywhere?" she winced she she tried to laugh.

„I'm so sorry!" he whispered.

„Sure you are!" Red John interrupted their talk. Jane looked up and Lisbon moved her head a little too so she was facing him.

„Why are you doing this?" she asked from him. She felt Jane's hand stroke her hair all the while.

„Oh, your little lady missed the beggining of our chat." Red John said to Patrick and then turned his attention back to Lisbon „Actually this is not just about him. No offense Patrick, mostly because of you. But this cop of yours started to know too much…" The man shrugged.

„You won't get away with this..you know…!" Lisbon told him coldly.

„Oh..I always do..I will this time too!" he smiled.

„What you will do with us?" Lisbon asked her voice a little shaky.

„I didn't decide it yet…" the man shrugged again and he started to think. „I guess you just need to stay here a bit more…" as it would be the end of the conversation he turned and with one swift step he left the room and locked the door behind him.

„How did you come here?" Lisbon turned to Jane.

„I came with Cho…VanPelt told us the address.."

„Where is…No! Please don't tell me that he's…" she couldn't finish her sentence and tears formed in her eyes.

„I'm afraid he is…Red John said he shot him…He was downstairs and we parted so he could check another room. He told me to go to the car but I saw the stairs and I came here…" Jane looked down. Lisbon was still in his arms but she tried to sit up.

„Hey..It's not your fault! „ he told him.

„Of course it is!" he said harshly. „All of this is my fault. You wouldn't be here, and hurt if you wouldn't know me. It would be better to you if we never met!"

„No it wouldn't. You are a wonderful person Patrick Jane and if we wouldn't met then my life would be so much less adventurous. And less happy. I laughed so much because you, and I get to know so much things because of you…"

„Yeah..and now you will die because of me..!" he muttered.

„No I won't. We won't die here…I'm sure…" she caressed his face with her hand.

„We won't. I promise you Lisbon you won't die here, I won't let!" Jane told her gently and then he stood up. He started pacing the room as he thought. Maybe Grace and Rigsby would come after them in a while. But it would take time…He needed a plan quickly.

As fast as he stood up she felt his missing. The warmth of his body next to hers and his even breathing beside her ear. She knew he was thinking and she wanted to come up with a good idea too. But all in her mind was pain. She hurt everywhere. Some parts hurt less but it was all bad. She didn't know she had this many parts to hurt. She didn't make any sound though, she didn't want to make it worse to him.

Lisbon remembered what happened when she got into this room. They kind of fought but she had no chance to win. It was a little like her childhood, when her father abused her she didn't have the tiniest chance to protect herself. But it was worse. Her father would always stop eventually. But Red John seemed to never stop it. He asked, she didn't tell him anything and then he would hit. Or kick…

She started trembling. She didn't even had the time to think about what happened to her when she lost her consciousness and now it was all flowing back to her mind. She started sobbing silently and she pulled her bruised legs up to her stomach.

„Lisbon! What's wrong?" Jane immediately kneeled down beside her again and softly ambraced her. „Shh..It's over…I won't let him hurt you anymore…" he whispered into her hair and his tears fell on her head.

He hurt her so much. Jane had never seen Lisbon cry before. Just once… But he had never seen her sobbing like this. Red John would regret it so bad! He would even regret the day he was born!

„I'm sorry..I'm okay.." she said weakly and actually she really felt better in his arms.

Jane kissed the top of her head, his lips lingering on her silky hair. He breathed in her cinnamon scent and sighed.

„Look I have an idea…" he told Lisbon and looked into her eyes. „It won't be easy so if you don't feel strong enough for it just tell me and I will work out something else!"

She nodded and wiped her tears away.

„As you would say it, I'm all ears!" she said and smiled at him.

Next coming:

„Where is he?" the man shouted at Lisbon who was laying on the floor. Just as he left her…

He looked at the broken window on the other wall and shook his head. It was too high for him to reach. But then he noticed the things under the window. It was a few chair and other things in a pack. He must have climbed them to reach the window.

„When did he left?" he asked angrily from Lisbon and he came closer. Lisbon crawled over, further from him. She was genuienly afraid of him, but she didn't say a word.

„Tell me or I will beat it out of you!" he yelled it into her face. Lisbon tensed up a bit but she lived through worse than this. She was brave. She was Lisbon even in this situation…

„I won't tell you anything…" she said and looked straight in his eyes.

„Wrong answer!" he hissed and lifted his hand, ready to hit her face hard.

**Okay…This was it! I know, I know terrible…I really hate to write them into such a horrible situation but I hope you like a bit of drama…I can promise that the happy ending is not far! :)**

**Please tell me your ideas…Review!**

**Kissed goes out to all of you who read this story and who takes the time to write me his/ her opinion gets extra kisses…;) :) **

**Next chapter…well..that's a bit complicated…I'm not sure when I can upload it because I'm going on a holiday and I'm n****ot sure if I can type a lot there…But lets say that I'll try and I can promise that in 5 days there will be a new chapter…:)**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey Guys! Thanks for the feedback, it means a lot! :)**

**I hope you like the story so far…And here comes the next chapter!**

_Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own The mentalist. By the way…Am I the only one who just can't wait for Sept. 22? :)_

There was a big crash and then it was all quiet. Lisbon lay on the floor waiting for the door to open. Because she knew that it will open in any minute. Some fresh air came through the newly broken window and she sighed before she heard the door flew open.

Red John stormed in and looked aruond. He saw immediately that something was wrong. Something was missing…Someone was missing! Jane!

„Where is he?" the man shouted at Lisbon who was laying on the floor. Just as he left her…

He looked at the broken window on the other wall and shook his head. It was too high for him to reach. But then he noticed the things under the window. It was a few chairs and other things in a pack. He must have climbed them to reach the window.

„When did he left?" he asked angrily from Lisbon and he came closer. Lisbon crawled over, further from him. She was genuienly afraid of him, but she didn't say a word.

„Tell me or I will beat it out of you!" he yelled it into her face. Lisbon tensed up a bit but she lived through worse than this. She was brave. She was Lisbon even in this situation…

„I won't tell you anything…" she said and looked straight in his eyes.

„Wrong answer!" he hissed and lifted his hand, ready to hit her face hard. Teresa closed her eyes, preparing herself for the pain. She knew it would hurt even worse than the previous hits. She almost felt his hand move as at flew across the air to slap her.

„Don't you dare touch her!" Jane's flaming angry voice interrupted his movement and he turned on his heel. Patrick was standing behind him and looked more dangerous than Lisbon ever thought he could. He seemed to wait just for Red John to turn completely and then he punched him hard int he face.

The man lost his balance and stepped away. He gripped his nose with his hands. This time he was closer to Lisbon so she decided it was her turn. It wasn't in Jane's plan that she can hit him too but she felt an urge to give him back a little of what he gave to her. She straightened her leg and kicked him between his legs. It hurt her to move her leg but it definetely hurt him more, she guessed by the voice he gave!

Red John collapsed on the floor and Lisbon saw the movement as he reached for his gun. He wanted to shoot Jane!

„No!" Lisbon screamed and without caring about the pain in her body she jumped on him and pulled his hand away from his hips. They fought on the floor and she got more hits. She felt the darkness beggining to take over in her so with a last move she pulled his gun out and threw it as far away as she could. Then she blacked out…

Jane saw as she threw herself on the man and the most terrifying thing he had ever seen started in front of him. Red John didn't backed up when she was on him. He hit her and kicked her and Jane believed that once bited her just like she would be a man. But Lisbon was brave and tough. She didn't let him win over her easily. Jane just watched them helplessly. He couldn't do a thing when Teresa was there too. What if he would hit her instead of that bastard?

When he saw Lisbon's eyes close his fear grew huge and he had to do something. He saw that she had threw the weapon away and now it was his turn to jump on the man.

Actually he had never really been the fighting kind of boy. He never had to fight. He had the abilities to convince anybody to anything. But now he had to use his phisical skills.

He didn't let himself either. He fought for Lisbon. He couldn't let her alone with this man. And he had to take her to a doctor…So he made up his mind and made his every hit harder and stronger.

He got some bad ones too. But he didn't care about pain, all he could think about was Lisbon. And his persistence was successful. At the beggining Jane was sure that this man is going to kill him but then Red John became more and more weak. And then after some really hard fighting he gave in. Red John fainted and collapsed on the floor.

Patrick gasped for some minutes and then his mind started working again. He creeped over to Lisbon's form and gently stroked her cheeks. She was so relaxed and still her features showed some worry and the tiredness was noticeable. Jane was afraid that she has some serious damages. He was certain that she was in a big pain she just refused to show it…

He leaned over her breathed a light kiss on her face. Then he sighed a deep and shook her a little.

„Teresa darling! Please wake up!" he murmured to her. He caressed her hair and finally she opened her eyes.

Lisbon felt her eyelids heavy when she opened her eyes. She heard Patrick's concerned voice and felt his soft hands on her. It felt really good and for a moment she forgot about the pain that started to course through her body.

„You hear me Lisbon?" he asked.

„Yeahh.." she whispered and cleared her throat." Where is Red John?" she looked around and saw the man laying on the floor. She raised her eyebrows at Jane and he nodded.

„Yes…he is unconscious at the moment, but we need to get away as soon as possible! Can you stand up?"

Lisbon tried to stand up and she straightened.

„Yupp. I think I can manage!" she told him.

„Ok, let's go then!" Jane led her out of the room and they went downstairs. „You go out to Cho's car and call VanPelt! And call an ambulance too!" Patrick said to Lisbon and he himself turned to another room.

„What about you?" she asked

„I go and search for Cho!" he said „Go! I'll be there in a minute too!"

Lisbon headed out of the buliding and saw Cho's car in front of. She went to it and called an ambulance first. Then she dialed VanPelt.

„Boss! You okay?" answered a nervous Grace. „Cho and Jane are with you?"

„Hey Grace! I'm fine, Jane is with me…" she smartly avoided the part about Cho. Her heard twitched at the thought of the agent. She really hoped that he would be ok too.

„Where are you boss?"

„Still on that adress…could you send an unit here…you and Rigsby could come too!" Lisbon told her calmly. She sat into Cho's open car and started checking her bruises. They weren't so bad but each one of them hurt.

„Sure…we will be there soon!" VanPelt hang up and Lisbon turned to the building. She saw Jane coming out with the unconscious Cho in his arms. Lisbon raised her eybrows in surprise. He never did any phisical thing before so she guessed he isn't too strong. But now he seemed pretty muscular to her…  
>„I didn't know you are so strong.." she told Jane as she helped him get Cjo into the car.<p>

„Yeah..I hide it well…" he winked and laid the agent on the back seat." You called an ambulance?"

Lisbon nodded and looked at Jane. He was wounded too. He had a gash on his arm and some bruises on his face. Without thinking she lifted her hand and touched his red cheeks with her fingers.

„You okay?" she asked from him.

„I'm great!" he grinned and he stood closer to her." What about you? What did he do to you?" he asked. His voice full of anger and guilt. His eyes flaming and sparkling.

„I'll be fine Jane..Don't worry about me…" she saw that he wasn't convinced so she tried to deflect the subject. „How is Cho?"

„He is alive…I think Red John hit him on his head." Jane explained.

In that moment an ambulance car turned at the corner and their talk was interrupted. Jane looked into Teresa's eyes meaningfully and hugged her one more time.  
>When the doctors arrived they took Cho into the car and examined both of them. Then VanPelt, Rigsby and the unit arrived too.<br>It was all busy and noisy everywhere and Jane lost Lisbon in the crowd somehow. He sighed a deep and shot his eyes closed. This day was enough for him. He let the doctors take him to the hospital, hoping that he will find Lisbon there too.

Next coming:

It was all white and sterile around him. The whole place smelled like a hospital.

Of course, because it's a hospital! He thought and shook his head. He still couldn't find Lisbon. He looked for her in the ER, on the corridors, in Cho's room, in the cafeteria. She was gone….Gone with the wind…  
>He disappointedly sat down into a chair. The bent his head into his hands and tried not to cry. He wanted to cry so much…<p>

It was too much pressure, even for him. The thought of losing her was so horrible that it hurt phisically. Seeing her in that pain it was worse than anything. Will she ever be able to forgive him? He caused her so much pain and trouble…He wouldn't even forgive himself…But then again, she was a way better person than he.

That was when he heard the familiar footsteps on the floor. He didn't move until he heard them stop. In front of him.

„Jane?"

**Okay…I really hope you liked it! I send every one of you a warm greeting from the sea…:)  
>Thanks for reading and thanks for the story alerts! Please review it would make my day!<br>Now, you can choose from two possibility! One, I will finish this story quickly …it would last about one or two more chapters. Or I will make it a little bit longer…about 3-4 chapters…  
>Well? Which one?<br>Please review and tell me your ideas! :) **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi Guys! You are really amazing! Your feedback makes me so incredibly happy…:)**

**Some of you asked for the longer version and said that this story has a lot of action, well I am really glad that you like the story but I want to tell you that if the story will be longer then it will mostly be abot Jane and Lisbon getting together in a complicated way, with a happy ending of course…So you still want it? I have an idea so…It's on you! :)**

**Here is the next chapter…I hope you will like it…**

_Disclaimer: Nope…still not mine…._

So, it was her life…It almost cost her life…It was too close, now he saw it clearly. She meant too much. And Red John knew it. Patrick's thoughts were scared like hell and the thought that his old enemy was probably behind bars right now wasn't enough. He needed to be with her and see with his own eyes that Lisbon was safe. His hands were shaking because he had no idea where she was. Maybe Red John tricked him again and she was in danger…It made him crazy that he couldn't find her…

It was all white and sterile around him. The whole place smelled like a hospital.

Of course, because it's a hospital! He thought and shook his head. He still couldn't find Lisbon. He looked for her in the ER, on the corridors, in Cho's room, in the cafeteria. She was gone….Gone with the wind…  
>He disappointedly sat down into a chair. The bent his head into his hands and tried not to cry. He wanted to cry so much…<p>

It was too much pressure, even for him. The thought of losing her was so horrible that it hurt phisically. Seeing her in that pain it was worse than anything. Will she ever be able to forgive him? He caused her so much pain and trouble…He wouldn't even forgive himself…But then again, she was a way better person than he.

That was when he heard the familiar footsteps on the floor. He didn't move until he heard them stop. In front of him.

„Jane?" He heard VanPelt's worried voice." Everything is okay? You should see a doctor…" the agent squatted down beside him.

„I'm okay…Have you seen Lisbon?" he asked from her the only thing he wanted to know.

„No…I'm sorry…I thought she would be with you…"

Patrick squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then he sighed a deep.

„I wish I could find her Grace…I wish I could protect her from everything…I wish I could be the one who she deserves…" he told her honestly. „ I wish so much to just hold her tightly in my arms for a moment without any consequences…any bad consequences…I know I shouldn't say this…and I know she wouldn't want me to think this way…But this is all because of me and I want her to know how much I'm sorry for this…That I never meant to hurt her...Least in the way I did…"

The redheaded agent smiled gently at Jane. Like the mother smiles at her child who says his first words.

„Patrick…you are sure you want to say this things to me? Go, find her…Listen to your heart…" Grace said and stepped away, letting Jane jump up and run away. She looked after him and shook her head. _Finally_! She thought _It was time…_

Jane ran through the same areas again, trying hard to think of the best place where she could be. His heart was ponding in his chest but he just ran.  
>It wasn't so difficult after all…Thousands of people do it every day…They tell the one they love how they feel and they live happily ever after. Of course Patrick knew that it wasn't this easy either. He had been through this once…He thought it's for the end of times…He thought they will be together forever, that nobody ever can tore them apart…And see where he was now. He was so scared that even if she felt just a little bit the same way by some divine wonder, he will put her in danger…Like he always did. He did it to everyone who was close to him…Just like Red John said…<p>

„_Anybody that gets close to me bad things happens to…"_ He remembered to the conversation with Lisbon a few months ago. How she was telling him that it's not true…And see where they were now…

He found himself leaving the hospital and heading to his car. Suddenly he knew exacly where she would be….

He drove as fast as he never did before all the while thinking about what he shoud say to her.

_You can't just say…Listen Lisbon I'm in love with you!_ He told himself angrily. These were the only words he could think about and that made him crazy. The big Patrick Jane was at loss of words…It wasn't regular for him to confess his love for his boss. Especially not for Teresa Lisbon. The brave, tough, smart, stubborn, confident, unique Lisbon. The head of the team. The one everybody admired and looked up to…Even him. He would never admit it but he really looked up to her. She was an amazing cop and a very intelligent and good person. Not just in the general meaning of good. She was warm hearted and helpful and thoughtful and hopeful in a way. In a special way… She had been through so much and still she wasn't a mess like him. She was living her life normally, still believing in good and God. She still smiled genuinely and she made him smile…She tried to fix him and Patrick was sure she did somehow…She fixed him a little…  
>He turned a corner and was a bit nervous. He still couldn't find a way how to tell her. Maybe when he will be there he will know better…<br>Just then his mobile phone started to ring. He searched for it in his pockets just ton find it on the seat nex to his… He smiled at himself and looked at the caller ID. Grace VanPelt.

_What could she want?_ He wondered. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell Lisbon…Maybe that's what Grace wanted to say to him. She wanted to warn him on Lisbon's reaction….  
>Jane's stomach twitched and his heart broke. It was obvious…Lisbon couldn't love him. She was so different and he didn't deserve such a woman. He was a mess, a broken disaster. Actually now he felt more broken than ever. She was his last chance and he lost it…<br>He answered the phone with trembling fingers and his voice was shaky.

„Yeah?" Patrick was already afraid of what he will hear but the reality was way more worse than he have expected. His mouth fell open and his leg left the gas in intention to stop the car before he caused an accident. He couldn't answer VanPelt's concerned voice he just sat in his car, eyes wide open in shock and horror. Tears filled his eyes and he didn't even try to hold them back. He cried silently listening to Grace. His heart pounded in his chest and he started the car again just to turn back. Heading back to the hospital…

Next coming:

„Where is she?" it was his first question. He looked furiously around and searched for the one he desperately wanted to see. Needed to see. His legs shaked and Grace looked at him with watery eyes.

„Patrick…" she started and Jane was scared. She used that tone. The tone which people used when they was about to tell a horrible, painful thing.

„Please Grace don't tell me she's…I couldn't survive that…" he asked her. Practically begged her. His blue eyes were filled with tears again and he shook his head.

Rigsby stepped beside Grace and hugged her shoulders. Jane swallowed hard and sighed. This couldn't mean good.  
>He never was a religous man but in that moment he begged to his God. He begged him not to do this to him again. He couldn't lose someone who was so important to him again…<p>

**So this was a bit shorter than the previous chapters, and I'm sorry. School started and I had a lot going on now…I hope you forgive me…And I promise to try and write next chapter longer..And upload it faster…;)**

**Please tell me what you think! Reviews make my day! Thanks for reading! I'm grateful as always…**

**PS. I am totally in love with the new promo…I just can't wait anymore..It was so frekin' great! I just couldn't stop rewatching it again and again….Who's with me? :)**

**Please don't forget to review! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**OMG….You really are amazing! Thanks so much for your reviews! I love hearing your thoughts…**

**I never thought this story would reach chapter 16 but here we go! :) I'm happy for it though…**

**Please enjoy and tell me your opinion! **

_Disclaimer: I sadly don't own The mentalist…still…what should I do to get it? :)_

Patrick Jane stormed into the waiting room and looked around to find his co-workers. Grace, Rigsby and Cho were there, all of them walking in different paths. He saw their face, full of worry and he felt the same. But stronger if that was possible…

„Where is she?" it was his first question. He looked furiously around and searched for the one he desperately wanted to see. Needed to see. His legs shaked and Grace looked at him with watery eyes.

„Patrick…" she started and Jane was scared. She used that tone. The tone which people used when they was about to tell a horrible, painful thing.

„Please Grace don't tell me she's…I couldn't survive that…" he asked her. Practically begged her. His blue eyes were filled with tears again and he shook his head.

Rigsby stepped beside Grace and hugged her shoulders. Jane swallowed hard and sighed. This couldn't mean good.  
>He never was a religous man but in that moment he begged to his God. He begged him not to do this to him again. He couldn't lose someone who was so important to him again…He begged him for the only thing he wanted in that moment. That God wouldn't take her away from him. No, not from him…From this world. Because it was clear to Jane that this world needed Lisbon. This world wouldn't be the same without Lisbon. It would be cold and dark. His world would be cold and dark without her. Without her lightness….<p>

So Patrick looked into VanPelt's brown eyes and prepared for the worst.

„Patrick…she is in surgery. We can't go in to the ORs but the nurse promised to come and tell the details as soon as they know anything…"

„Oh…" he let out a little relieved sigh. She wasn't dead. It meant everything to him. Because he knew she would fight. She would fight for her life because she knew that there were people who needed her. He counted himself as one too. And he hoped that she knew that too, but if she didn't then he will make sure she knows it when she wakes up…

„She went up to the roof of the hospital…And she collapsed…she had an internal bleeding and nobody noticed it…" Rigsby tried to fill Patrick in. He just gasped and tears blurred his vision again.

Internal bleeding…Because of Red John's attack….It was his fault too. Jane's heart sank into his tummy and he let a single tear escape from his eye before he wiped it away with one swift movement. He had to be strong. For her and for himself. Lisbon wouldn't want him to feel guilty.

That was when a nurse in blue came out of a big swing door. She looked around and Patrick tensed up. He knew she had information for them. About Her. He felt it in his guts…

„ Miss VanPelt?" the nurse called and Jane repressed a smile. He knew… The agent turned around and looked at the nurse curiously.

„Yes? It's me!" she stepped closer.

„You are here because of Teresa Lisbon?" the nurse asked.

„Yes…Well, we all are!" Grace showed around in the room and spotted a man sitting in a chair near Cho. „Umm…exept that guy…" she murmured. „How is she?" she asked worriedly.

„She came out of surgery without any complications fortunately. She didn't wake up yet but you can go in and see her if you like…" she offered helpfully.

„Yeah, that would be great! Thanks! „ VanPelt smiled at her gratefully.

The woman waved them to follow her and she headed to the elevator. When they were all inside she pressed the button to the 3th floor and they slowly started to move upwards.

Every second in the elevator seemed like years to Jane and he couldn't wait to get out of it. He quickly got a claustrophobic feeling. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes to make the feeling go away. He will see her in minutes. She was unconscious and her life was still depending on machines but she was alive. And she will wake up soon… And then he will be there with her. He won't leave her side for a second.

The elevator stopped and he looked around on the corridor. It was light blue with big windows to each room. The wards were pretty small but there was enough place for the big bed with a nightstand and some chairs. They all crowded into Lisbon's room and the nurse looked at them strictly.

„No loud words…If she would wake up call me with this button over here…" she pointed at a dark blue button on the nightstand.

„Yes Ma'am…" Cho said and then the nurse was gone.

From the second he got a look at her he was shocked to silence. She was as pale as a ghost. Tubes were hanging out of her everywhere and she barely breathed. He would think she was dead if he couldn't see her chest raising. Her body seemed so fragile, so delicate…His Lisbon, the strong, hard-ass boss seemed weak. It was scary to see her like that even to the other team members…They all loved her in their own little ways and cared about her well being a lot. Grace held in a breath when she saw the woman in front of her and even the unemotional Cho winced at the sight of his beloved boss.

Jane stepped beside her bed and gently took her hand into his. He barely dared to touch her but when his fingers brushed over her skin he felt how cold she was. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He watched her every feature like he could never has time to look at her again…Her eyes with the black circles under them, her cheeks which are usually slightly pink but now they were white as the wall, her beautifully curved lips…Now that he was there he won't leave her. Ever…He promised himself. He won't close his eyes until he sees her green eyes again. See her smile, hear her laughter.

Time passed and Patrick didn't even notice it. His teammates were quietly talking and going in and out of the room but he seemed blind to the whole word around him. The only thing that mattered was her. He stared at her face all the time and sat next to her tensely. He gripped her hands desperately trying to give her some of his power.

The continuous beeping of the monitors around them filled the room and told them that Lisbon was still alive. It may sound morbid but sometimes Patrick had to look at the monitor just to make sure she was okay. Hours passed by and Grace fell asleep. Rigsby offered to take her home and they were gone. Cho and Jane stayed with Lisbon, Patrick's eyes never leaving her.

„Jane…" Cho started after a big silence but Patrick stopped him.

„No…please don't say anything like 'It's not your fault' and so on…It is, and I know it too well…" he told the agent coldly.

„I was going to say that I'll go and have a coffee. You want anything?" Cho continued and stood up. Typical Cho. Patrick repressed a little smile and shook his head.

„No thanks, but hey could you bring something for Lisbon? I'm pretty sure she would love to drink some juice instead of hospital-water when she wakes up…"

„Water is water…there is no such thing as hospital-water…But okay…I'll see what I can!" Cho said and dissapeared.

Jane was alone with Lisbon. He looked at her again and guilt washed over him. She was so pale…Her face was relaxed and calm, he would've find it marvelous if they weren't in this situation! It was rare that he saw her this peaceful.

He admired her pretty face when something happened. He didn't see it first but then it was too noticeable to miss. She moved! It was barely a thing but she moved. Her eyelids started to shake slightly.

Jane sucked his breath in and held it in his lungs. He felt her fingers move in his hands and he was amazed to see that her eyes opened in a very slow motion. They weren focused on anything first but then she lifted her head a bit and her green gaze fell on his face.

He waited a second for her to recognise him and then he gently squeezed her hand.

„Hi sleeping beauty! How are you feeling? „ he asked with a weak smile and with his free hand he held a glass of water to her mouth. He couldn't believe it! She woke up finally, and she seemed to be fine…Could this nightmare be over?

She gratefully sipped from the glass and then she opened her mouth to speak but her voice was still hoarse.

„I..where I am? What happened?" she was clearly confused. She looked at their intertwined fingers but made no effort to broke the contact.

„ In hospital…you had..you had internal bleeding and you collapsed…" Jane's voice died away from guilt and tears. She looked at him expectantly. She wanted to hear more…" The doctors did a surgery on you to…to save your life…" a tear rolled down on hhis cheek and he quickly continued „I'm so sorry Teresa…I really didn't want this to happen..ever! „ the use of her first name made the statement very personal and she winced as she saw how much it hurt him to see her like that.

„It's okay…It's not your…" she started to say but he interrupted. He put his finger on her lips before she could continue.

„ No! It IS my fault, for God's sakes…" he whispered angrily.

He looked into her green eyes and he wanted to tell her. Just right away in that moment. But he couldn't bring himslef to do it…It just wasn't the right time…

So Jane just sat there clasping her hand and looking deeply into Lisbon's eyes, trying to tell her his every feeling by that one look. That was when Cho arrived and it distracted both of them. Lisbon looked at the agent and her eyebrows immediately rised up.

„Cho! Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" she asked, almost worried.

„They took care of me but I didn't want to lay in a bed all day..so they discharged me…" the agent explained and added „You okay?" when Teresa nodded a relieved smile lightened his features „I'm glad…I brought you some juice…" he said and put the paper glass on the nightstand.

„Thank you Cho! Thank you for being here…" Lisbon said and she smiled too. Her hand was still in Jane's but she seemed to forget about it. Suddenly she felt very happy and calm. Like if everything would be just fine…And it had to be, right? Then why on earth was this pounding in her heart and butterflies in her stomach. Then she looked at Jane again and she felt warmness spread in her cold body. Oh yeah…Jane…

Next coming:

„Why didn't you tell her?" the redhead asked.

„I don't know…there was just no right time…" Jane stammered.

„That's bullshot and you know it too…" Grace pointed on his chest and then smirked at him „You have to do it, you know…"

„Yes..it's just so hard Grace…what id she doesn't feel the same way?" he asked and real fear was audible in his voice.

„Patrick, I'm perfectly sure that Lisbon feels…"

„How do I feel?" asked Lisbon who was entering the kitchen in that very moment. She looked to Vanpelt and then to Jane. Something was going on here…

**So, this is it…Sorry I know I was slow again…School things…I'm really sorry I hope you forgive me…I try to upload the next one faster but sadly I can't promise anything…**

**I hope you like it and thanks for reading the story! **

**Please review and tell me your thoughts! Love you all! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey Guys! Here is the next chapter! I hope you'll like it! Thanks for reading and for the reviews, they make me happy! **

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything…_

Lisbon recovered quickly. She hated being in hospital even if every day one of her team members visited her. Jane was there with her every day, sometimes he came twice or three times. He always brought her something special. Like if he would knew what she was craving for… One day he brought pizza, then some cookies…Exacly the ones she liked.

She was always asking about cases and work and drove him crazy with it. But Jane was really patient with her. Always smiled at her and always made her smile. But she couldn't help herself, she just wanted to be there with them.

„I can't stand it anymore! When can I leave this damned place?" she asked from Jane on a Saturday afternoon. He was with her all day because they didn't have any work at the CBI. They were talking, and playing cards and eating some Chinese take-out food and she just started to freak out. Patrick was just smiling at her softly and touched her hand.

„Don't be impatient Lisbon! You have to heal! And work won't help it…"

„When I finally get back I have to do stupid office work for another month so why can't I start it already? I am perfectly capable of doing paprwork…" she said bitterly.

„I'm sorry…" he looked down. He was still believing that what happened with her was his fault. She felt guilty at his sight and she squeezed her eyes shut for a second before taking a hold of his hand that lay on the bed beside her. She promised herself that she won't make him sad or guilty about this because seing him hurt hurt her too. She didn't show any signs of pain in his presence even when she suffered really badly. Just to save him from the guilt, and now here they were and one single comment made him aching again. She sighed. She could have known better that an outburst like this would make him feel bad. She was being ungrateful. He was there with her evey day after all, he sacrificed his free time to be with her…

„Jane…Look, I didn't mean like that…you know that it wasn't your fault!" she told him for what it felt like the millionth time. And his answer was always the same too…

„It is my fault…It's all my fault and you know that I can't just forgive myself what I did to you…"

„But I do forgive you…I know you never wanted to hurt me…" she said to him and he looked up, surprised. She didn't argue with him this time. She said what he thought she would never say. She said 'I forgive you' . And it meant a world to him. If she was able to forgive him…

„ You should eat something…" he changed the subject to cover his embarrasment. He didn't want her to notice how much it meant to him. He hadn't found time to tell her about his feelings.

„I'm fine…Hey, Jane! I'm sorry for freaking out like that! I didn't mean to..you know…Please don't think I'm not extremely grateful that you are here with me! I have no idea what wouldI do without you! „ she told him honestly.

_This is the right time mate!_ His mind told him but he froze. He couldn't do it yet! His speech was not ready for her to hear it. The always shining and teasing Patrick Jane who had an answer for everything was not ready to confess love.

So he just smiled and stroked her hand.

„I wouldn't be anywhere but here if I could choose!"

Suddenly Lisbon felt her eyes water and not for the first time since she was in hospital she wanted to cry. Not because of sadness but beacuse gratefulness and happiness. What the hell is going on with her? But she didn't want to think about those serious things in that moment. Lisbon didn't want to face the fact that she probably fell for her consultant. Who, by the was looking at her with those warm, sea blue eyes of his all the while. She smiled instead and nodded at the cards.

„Another round? You will win anyways…"

„Okay…" Jane smirked, visibly pleased with himself which made Lisbon roll her eyes with an annoyed expression.

….

Another week passed by and Lisbon had been discharged fom the hospital. She had to do office work for another month and a half so she wasn't really in her best mood these days.

Jane and Grace were silently talking int he kitchen, trying to hide from curious eyes. Grace looked at him suspiciously and questioned him.

„Why didn't you tell her?" the redhead asked.

„I don't know…there was just no right time…" Jane stammered.

„That's bullshit and you know it too…" Grace pointed on his chest and then smirked at him „You have to do it, you know…"

„Yes..it's just so hard Grace…what if she doesn't feel the same way?" he asked and real fear was audible in his voice.

„Patrick, I'm perfectly sure that Lisbon feels…"

„How do I feel?" asked Lisbon who was entering the kitchen in that very moment. She looked to VanPelt and then to Jane. Something was going on here…"What?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

„I..I was just saying that you might feel sad that you can't come out with us and I suggested Jane to stay here with you sometimes…" Grace stammered and blushed slightly. But Lisbon didn't notice it. She smiled and shook her head.

„That's very thoughtful of you Grace but I'm just fine! Jane can go with you, you need him and I don't…He can't help me with my paperwork and actually I think some Jane-free time will be good for me!" She chuckled and walked away into her office.

„See..She doesn't need me…" Jane pointed towards Teresa's closed door. He was a bit hurt by what she said. And even if he tried to cover it with mock resentment, it was clear to Grace.

„She didn't mean it that way!" She said and smiled at him. „She does need you, she's just too stubborn to admit it! She's just like you, don't you think? „ she teased him and started to walk out of the kitchen.

„Hey Grace! „ Jane stopped her and VanPelt turned back. „Thanks…" He said quietly and she was surprised to see him almost vulnerable. He stood there, leaning against the counter, shoulders dropped, eyes down and he seemed weak, like a little child. Grace smiled again, he was really in love with the boss!

„You're welcome! And please don't worry…just be yourself!" she suggested.

He sighed. If only that could help him. Being himself only made trouble in her life so he guessed that's not the best idea. But then what should he do? Should he be more like someone else? Could he do that? Be like…like Bosco…or Mashburn? She really seemed to be impressed by them. Jane grimaced…he probably could never do a thing like that. And it would be a lie. He wouldn't lie to her about something this important. He lied to her many times before but only to protect her from suspension. He didn't want to lie to her abour personal things. He never did and would never do…Her trust was too important to him.

He jumped the stairs and made his way up to his attic. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. Lisbon's expression was still in his mind when she said 'I don't need him' …For once he couldn't tell if she was being serious or not! And it drove him insane! He needed to talk with her as soon as possible…

….

Lisbon sat in her office. She wanted to talk to Jane so much. She was back in the CBI for two days and he barely talked to her. It was like he was avoiding her.

She got used to long talkings with him over the last weeks and she missed it. But her pride doesn't let her… What if he didn't want to talk with her? What if she told him something about how she felt and it scared him away. She felt a blush creep up on her neck as she thought about that. No, she couldn't… She had some drugs in the first few days but she couldn't say something like that to him. And if she did…he wouldn't come back every day, would he?

Lisbon shook her head. She was kind of lonely in there without her team. She wanted to go with them so badly..but she didn't show it. She wouldn't want any of them to stay there with her. She knew that they would do it for her but they wouldn't be too pleased with the situation. If only Jane would be there with her! When she was in hospital he was so thoughtful, and gentle…She liked it! It made her feel important, and a little bit girly. And Teresa Lisbon wasn't used to feel girly.

Her paperwork was laying untouched on her desk, her eyes rested on it. Finally with a deep, dissatisfied moan she picked up her pen and started to work her way through it…

If only he could be there with her right then…It would certainly be less boring with him in the room. Lisbon smiled to herself and was able to repress a chuckle. How he would make fun out of everything…

She needed to talk with him, as soon as possible!

Next coming:

Jane looked around. The bullpen was emptly. Everyone had gone home. They were alone in the buliding. This was the right time! He felt it in his heart.

He took a big breath, preparing himself to the huge step he was going to take. He smiled at the thought of her. He finally found his courage in the image of her. She was enough for him to forget all his fears and just take that step.

Actually he didn't feel scared anymore at all! Her big, emerald green eyes, her wavy brown hair, her smile…He shivered. Warmness spread across his body and he straightened himself. He was able to do it! He will tell Lisbon he loves her!

An image of a happy life appeared in front of him. He saw themselves, he and Lisbon…surrounded with their kids. They were all happy and smiling in a house that was warmed with love. It might be his new life…

He took his time as he made his way to her closed office door. Her light was still on so he guessed she will be there! He raised his hand and softly knocked on her door three times.

He was waiting for her sweet voice to tell him 'Come in!' and when that didn't happen he just opened the door. And stopped in the doorway when he saw what was inside…

**This was it…I guess it's kind of a cliffhanger…Don't be mad! :)**

**Next chapter…You would think it will be confession-time..But I have to disappoint you..this is still not the right time! ;) Sorry…I hope you don't mind! No worries though…It won't be long until the happy ending!:) I hope I can type the next chapter and upload it soon! **

**So what did you think? Please tell me! Review! Feel free to tell me your thoughts! ;)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi Readers! Really thanks for those who took time to review, it's always good to know what you think…;) Any suggestion appreciated! And thanks for reading..means a lot!**

**So this one is a bit angsty again…Hope you'll like it! :)**

_Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own The mentalist…But hey, less than two weeks and we can watch a brand new episode again…! :) _

Partick checked his watch. 8.30 pm. Probably he was the only one int he CBI. Maybe Lisbon was still there too, though he seriously doubted that after a long day with only paperwork she would stay in longer than it's neccesary. He decided to see if she was there…

He climbed down the stairs and quickly found himself in the dark hallway. He saw that her blinds weren't closed so it meant she didn't go home yet. Lisbon always closed the blinds for the night. It was a weird habit of hers…

Jane looked around. The bullpen was emptly. Everyone had gone home. They were alone in the buliding. This was the right time! He felt it in his heart.

He took a big breath, preparing himself to the huge step he was going to take. He smiled at the thought of her. He finally found his courage in the image of her. She was enough for him to forget all his fears and just take that step.

Actually he didn't feel scared anymore at all! Her big, emerald green eyes, her wavy brown hair, her smile…He shivered. Warmness spread across his body and he straightened himself. He was able to do it! He will tell Lisbon he loves her!

An image of a happy life appeared in front of him. He saw themselves, he and Lisbon…surrounded with their kids. They were all happy and smiling in a house that was warmed with love. It might be his new life…

He took his time as he made his way to her closed office door. Her light was still on so he guessed she will be there! He raised his hand and softly knocked on her door three times.

He was waiting for her sweet voice to tell him 'Come in!' and when that didn't happen he just opened the door. And stopped in the doorway when he saw what was inside…

There it was, Teresa Lisbon's office. But without her. She wasn't there…

Jane scowled at the sight. First of all, it was very strange from her. She didn't switch the light off and she forgot to close the blinds…She must have been in a hurry to leave things like that. And second, if she wasn't there it meant that he had to wait until tomorow morning to tell her. And tomorow everybody will be there, so he will have to be very careful about the timing…

He walked into her office, to her desk and saw that there was a load of paperwork. He sighed. He would do it for her if he could…At least half of it so she wouldn't be so stressed and tense.

Then he headed to the elevator. If she wasn't there then he will go home…He sat in his car and went straight home, just to find a too-familiar-looking envelope waiting for him in his mailbox…

…

Lisbon sat in her office, her paperwork is still in a big pile in front of her although she worked on in all day. She looked at her clock. It was 8.30. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Everybody went home about and hour ago. Jane was in his attic as Cho had helpfully told her when he went home. Lisbon decided to talk to him and she stood up.

She went to the kitchen and made a tea for him. She looked at the single cup in her hand and smiled. A tea won't hurt…And she quickly made one for herself too.

She carefully went up and knocked on the big door. When she heard no answer she went in. Maybe he was asleep. She grinned at that thought. He was so damn cute when he was sleeping. She loved to watch him sleep.

Much to her surprise the attic was empty. His jacket was gone too so she guessed he went home without her noticing it. She growled in fustration and headed back to her office with the two cups. She placed them on the kitchen counter and she picked up her stuff. If she couldn't talk with him today then she will have to find time to catch him tomorow. And it is going to be harder with all the people in…

She headed to the parking lot and with a yawn she got into her car and drove off. At home she decided she needed to take a hot bath to clear her mind and relax her body…

This thing with Jane messed with her calmness. He was having such an effect on her and she just didn't know what to do. If she could talk about it with him…

…

_Oh, No no no no!_ Jane prayed in his head as he took the mail. He immediately went back to his car and opened it there. And there it was, with big, red, scary letters. And this time there was an unmistakeable Red John smiley face under the words. His tummy twitched and turned at the sight of it. It said: _You can't win!_

He gasped and threw the paper down on the passenger seat. He started the engine and drove to the only place that was in his mind in that moment.

He drove fast, really fast but he couldn't care less. 'You can't win!' the words were echoing in his brain. He had no doubt that the letter was from Red John. He was curious how he sent it, but it was not the most important thing. Actually, everything else faded as he got the mail. He just wanted to be there already. He knew exacly what the message meant. 'You can't win!'

He was only a street away from Lisbon's house when he slowed down. What if it was just a trick? Just a trap?

„Damn it! „ Patrick muttered. He could only hope that Lisbon will be home. If she wasn't home then he wouldn't have any clue where she was. And he couldn't go and save her…If he would be able to save her! What if Red John was faster than him? Jane shook his head to drive this thought out of his mind.

He got out of his car and literally ran to her front door. He took a breath and knocked.

He waited some seconds but no answer came. He knocked again, this time a little louder.

Still nothing….

His heart pounded and panic started to spread through him.

„Don't worry…Just…It'll be okay…" he tried to calm himself as he tapped the door again. „Lisbon open it please! „ he asked her.

He looked around on the street. Her car parked in front of the buliding. She must be home…

„Lisbon! Open it!" he was banging the door now. Desperately trying to get inside he hit his fists into the door. „Please open up or God is my witness, I will broke in!" he yelled. He managed to cover his fear and the only sign was his shaking hand. He knocked one more and then he raised his hand up, to hit the wood very hard.

But in that moment the door flew open.

Next coming: 

„But why?" she asked. Jane looked down on his feet. „Hey! I can't help if you don't look me in the eye and tell me what's going on…"

He reluctantly looked up and sighed. Lisbon's eyes were shining from concern and she was watching him intensively. His heart warmed at her sight. He almost broke her door at 9 pm and still she let him in, made him a tea and tried to calm him down…

She was perfect! But as he watched her he saw the waiting in her eyes which reminded him of the subject.

„He..And I don't know how, but he sent me this letter." He gave her the paper and she eyed it suspiciously.

„ 'You can't win!' what could that mean? „ she asked.

„I don't know…" he said but she could her that he was lying.

„Jane!" she snapped and he blushed a little. _Blushed?_ Was he really blushing? She couldn't believe it! But when he looked straight, deep into her eyes her thoughts were stopped. He had such a serious expression, she could almost see the depth of his soul.

**Hey! I hope you liked this chapter! Really thanks for reading, you are the best! :)**

**Next chapter …I hope I can upload soon! :) **

**Please review! I would be so grateful! Please! Just tell me what you think! **


	19. Chapter 19

**Wow! I am truly flattered ! You guys are the best, loveliest readers in the world! Love you all and really thanks for reading and reviewing! You make me want to upload sooner and sooner with every sentence you write…;) **

**So, actually this might be the last chapter…I will write an epilogue after this, and then I think I'm finished with this story…You know I don't want to make it too long…:)  
>I would like to finish with this thing until Sept. 22, and I already have an other idea in my head…;)<strong>

_Disclaimer: Even after 19 chapters, I still can't say that this is mine…I own nothing but my thoughts…:) _

The door flew open and much to his relief Teresa Lisbon was standing there, totally confused about his sudden appearance at her house. But she was not only totally confused, she was also completely naked. Okay…Not naked but she was wearing just a towel. Patrick's heart beat increased as he looked her up and down. He held his breath in as he watched her wet, flushed skin. She was probably having a bath. The lack of clothing highlighted her slim body and her muscled limbs. She was absolutely beautiful…

And especially now, he saw her more beautiful than ever before. And not because she was only wearing a towel, but because he really was afraid that he could lose her. Third time on that same day… And there she was, healthy and unharmed and aside from looking at him like he was a ghost she showed no signs of anger towards him. Altogether she looked a slightest bit happy to see him. Or was he just seeing his own emotions reflecting on her face?

„Lisbon!" he broke out into a happy, and relieved smile and without any thinking he clasped her tightly to himself. He fel her tense up immediately and he was expecting her to shove him away. But after some moments she relaxed against him. Her arms came up to hug him back and Jane felt the dampness of her towel seep into his shirt. He inhaled her scent, which was fresh from her body wash. His stomach felt like fluttering butterflies and his legs felt weak.

She was okay. She was there with him, finally safe…

Grateful tears watered his closed eyes and he made no effort to hold them back. He was breathing hard into her soft hair and even after several minutes he still held her close.

„You're here…You're okay…" he muttered, mostly to himself.

„I am..." she said quietly and he felt her finally trying to pull back. He let her with a sigh and looked at her again, marvelling at her sight. „ But why wouldn't I? „ she asked blinking. She doesn't seem to notice that they were standing in the door and she wasn't wearing anything but a towel wrapped around her.

Jane still couldn't say a word. He watched her. She was so pretty. How could he not notice this before? Of course, he knew that she looks nice, that men likes her ..But he never actually saw how stunning she was… Until that very moment. In the last weeks he started to feel more attracted to her than before but this was the point where he knew for sure that he irreveribly fell in love with Teresa Lisbon.

„Jane?" she waved her hand in front of him and then she shivered from a light night breeze. It reminded her of the scene they were in. She scowled and blushed a little. She was standing in her doorway in a towel. The only thing what covered her body from Patrick Jane was a cream-colored towel. „Don't you want to…come in maybe?" she offered and stepped away from the door to let him enter. Patrick still seemed like he was in some kind of a trance but he slowly walked into her house.

As he passed beside her he saw some goose-bumps on her arms. He reached out and stroked her skin to make them disappear. She glanced up on him surprisedly and closed the door behind him.

„So…" she started when they arrived in the living room. Her eyes were fixed on him, and she forgot what she was, or in this case wasn't wearing again…

„You…You don't want to…pick up something? Don't get this wrong, you look absolutely gorgeous, but you must be freezing…" he told her, smiling amusedly. How could she forget that she only had a towel around her?

She blushed again. This time her whole face was flaming and she pulled the towel tighter around herself.

„Yeah… that would be a good idea…I'll be back in a minute!" she muttered and turned around. She headed to her bedroom to look for some clothes.

Jane couldn't help but stared at her figure. The slight swaying of her delicate hips, the little tapping sound that her tiny, wet feet made on the floor. She was amazing! Patrick could have sweared that he was grinning like an idiot but he just didn't care .

Lisbon closed the door of her room and looked around nervously. What the hell should she wear?

„Okay..That's ridiculous!" she whispered to herself. „You stood only in a towel in front of him, what could be worse than that?"

She went to her closet and pulled out a pair of jeans. Then she chose a blue T-shirt, underwear and put them on. She looked into the mirror and checked if she looked okay. She decided that it's better than before and she started back to the living room. All the while thinking about why could he be there. He was so upset, Lisbon worried. She made a quick stop at her kitchen and prepared some tes for them.

When she entered he was still sitting on her couch movelessly. He was obviously deep in thoughts and little wrinkles appeared on his forehead from hard thinking. She cleared her throat to let him know about her presence. He lifted his head and smiled at her. She saw genuine happiness and gratefulness on him. She was confused, and she tried to figure out what wa son his mind as she handed him the cup. Their fingers slightly brushed and she felt her heart jump.

„I'm sorry I disturbed you in this late hour…But..But I needed your help in something. A Red John thing…" he apologized.

Jane knew he couldn't start with telling her he loved her. That he rushed across the city to make sure if she's okay! He had to build his speech, prepare her…And honestly he needed her help in that.

„But why?" she asked. Jane looked down on his feet. „Hey! I can't help if you don't look me in the eye and tell me what's going on…"

He reluctantly looked up and sighed. Lisbon's eyes were shining from concern and she was watching him intensively. His heart warmed at her sight. He almost broke her door at 9 pm and still she let him in, made him a tea and tried to calm him down…

She was perfect! But as he watched her he saw the waiting in her eyes which reminded him of the subject.

„He..And I don't know how, but he sent me this letter." He gave her the paper and she eyed it suspiciously.

„ 'You can't win!' what could that mean? „ she asked.

„I don't know…" he said but she could hear that he was lying.

„Jane!" she snapped and he blushed a little. _Blushed?_ Was he really blushing? She couldn't believe it! But when he looked straight, deep into her eyes her thoughts were stopped. He had such a serious expression, she could almost see the depth of his soul.

He was scared. Fear sparkled in his blue eyes and she felt a wave of panic ran through her. If Patrick Jane was scared that meant some horrible thing…

She didn't know if she could handle any more trouble this month. It had been an exhausting, dangerous, fearful month for all of them. She felt her bruises and wounds ache and her face winced.

„What is all this about?" she asked from him again quietly. She sat down next to him and lightly touched his hand.

Jane looked up at her touch. She was there for him, supporting him. As always…

„You.." the word left his mouth before he could think it over and he only noticed the weirdness of it when he saw Lisbon's stunned expression. She raised her brows and her mouth flew open in surprise and confusion. She wasn't quite sure what he meant but she heard in his tone tha this was serious.

„Excuse me?" she muttered.

„He wrote that I can't win…and I thought…well, I though he was going to hurt you…" he admitted. He couldn't imtermit it anymore. He couldn't fool her anymore. He couldn't lie about his feelings anymore…

„But why?" she repeated her question, looking totally dumbfounded.

„He knows that your pain hurts me more anything in the world…" he was looking away, out of the window as he talked but now he was turning his head towards her. He locked his eyes with her questioning ones and he let her see it. All of it, all of him…

No walls anymore. She saw it all. His concern, his fear, his happiness, his relief, his love…

She gasped and tried to clear her mind from the load of information.

„But why?" she couldn't think of anything else to ask. He smied at her gently and lifted his hand to caress her cheek.

„This might be news to you, but I'm madly in love with you Teresa Lisbon!" he murmured softly and chuckled. Her expression was priceless! Open mouth, wide, deep green eyes, sparlking from surprise and something else…

There it was again, just the slightest bit of happiness!  
>Jane couraged himself and leaned closer to her face. With every inch he felt the electronic tension grew until it was almost unbearable. With his hand that rested on her cheek he pulled her to him and watched in her eyes as emotions flowed through her. Confusion, surprise, realization, waiting, happiness, hope, fear… There were so many he was lost in her eyes for a second. But just for a second, then he realized how close they were.<p>

That he could smell her sweet scent, feel her shaky breath on his skin, the warmth of her body. Patrick watched as Lisbon's green iris started to disapper when her pupils dilated. He smiled a little bit smugly at her, he was absolutely pleased with himself, and with the situation he made. And then he closed his eyes, and pressed his lips on hers.

Lisbon delightened in the moment when their lips connected. Her blood coursed through her veins and her heart seemed to pound in her throat. She would have bet that he heard it too.

His lips were soft, and sweet. His kiss was tender and caring with full of passion. Her lips moved prefectly with his and she sighed contentedly.

Jane felt the world stop exisiting around them when he kissed Teresa. Her lips were smooth and tasted peppermint with a bit of cinnamon. He smiled as her arms slowly came up his neck, trying to pull him closer. He slid his arms around her waist and pushed her back on the couch.

„Easy there…" Lisbon laughed but she made no effort to push him away. When he looked into her eyes his heart filled with love. He couldn't believe that he could love her more than this, but here was the proof that he could. He loved ther more and more with every moment.

She kissed him once more, lightly pecking him on the lips and then she pushed herself up into a sitting position again. He sat up too, curiously waiting for her to say something. Lisbon decided to play with him a little.

„What do you think, how could he send it?" she asked finally and his heart dropped. His face fell and she had to try very hard to make a straight face.

„What?" he asked in a high voice „Really?"

„Why?" she acted confused, and he noticed that she was just playing. Well, two can play that game…

„I tell you I love you and all you can think about is that damned letter? I kissed you woman, and you think about another man?" he growled in a low voice and suddenly without any warning he was on her again.

His mouth leaving hers, exploring the smooth skin on her neck. She moaned and her fingers found their ways into his blond curls.

„So, you're still thinking about that bastard?" he asked after some minutes. Her face was flushed but her mind worked quickly.

„I just don't understand, how could Red John send anyone to your house…It makes me worry, you know…" she smirked at him and immediately saw that it was a bad idea. He scowled and brushed his lips against hers one more time. The kiss was so passionate, so forceful that she couldn't take it anymore. She kissed him back and then pulled away, gasping.

„Of course I love you too, you idiot! „ she laughed, but her words were serious. He beamed at her and cupped her face in his hands. He pulled her close and pressed his forehead against hers. They were both breathing hard and when Jane looked at her he still couldn't believe it.

How could he get this lucky?

***Sigh* So..I'm guessing this is the end my dearest readers! I will write one more chapter, as I told you previously. It will be an epilogue, and then this is done…**

**I hope you liked this chapter. Really thanks for your support, for reading, and for reviews. I hope to upload the epilogue very soon! **

**Please tell me what your thoughs are about this chapter! Everything is appreciated! :)**


	20. Epilogue

**Well, here is the very last chapter of this story. The epilogue…I managed to write 20 chapters…God, I'm proud of myself! :) **

**I hope you didn't think I would leave the last letter's meaning hang in the air…Because it had a meaning of course…So this epilogue will tell the story of that.**

**This story has been the first fanfiction I post and I can tell you I'm so happy I decided to do it…Your enhusisam (if I can call it that…) is really honorific…:) **

**For my part, writing this was an amazing experience, I was so engaged in typing…I'm telling you there were some parts where I was ..I was like muttering the words with Jane and Lisbon…:) It was super…! :)  
>I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you aren't disappointed with the way I end it…<strong>

**I'm so grateful for all the reviews I recieved while writing the story. You inspired me, I wanted to upload sooner and sooner every time…**

**Special thanks…well…special thanks for everyone who took time to read the story and decided to give it a shot, and a more special thanks for all of you who reviewed and told me your opinion…  
>And extra thanks for… <strong>_**Sonseeahray, **__**Country2776**_** and an anonymus reviewer…Because you were my first reviewers…  
>And another extra thanks for<strong>_** hollystream**_** and**_** snezana**_**, you were the ones who always took time to tell me your thoughts! It really meant a LOT! Thank you! Love you all!**

**Wooah…This became really long..so I end it here…I write the rest at the end…Enjoy the last chapter! ;) **

_Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own The mentalist all rights go to Bruno Heller and CBS…Honestly, they do an excellent job! _

A little beam of sunshine sparkled through the room and lighted just in Patrick Jane's eyes. He woke with a sigh and rubbed his eyes. He had a wonderful dream…

Suddenly he felt someone's arm around his chest. He looked down and his eyes widened it surprise. Teresa Lisbon was sleeping peacefully at his side. Her arms were wrapped around him and she nuzzled his shirt.

So it was reality. A huge grin spread across his face and he squeezed her happily. He breathed in her smell and welcomed the sunlight with re-closed eyes.

After twenty minutes of nap he felt Lisbon stir. He opened his eyes again and looked at her, curious about her reaction.

Lisbon opened her eyes slowly, well aware of the body beneath hers. Strong, muscular arms around her. And a very familiar scent. Patrick Jane. She sighed blissfully and hugged him tightly.

„Good morning beautiful! „ she heard his mumbling and she smiled.

„Hi!" she said, her voice a little bit nervous. She really hoped he didn't change his mind. She was quite sure she wouldn't survive if he would leave her now…

But there was no reason for her to be anxious. He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek.

„How did you sleep? „ he asked

„Hm…great! You? „ Lisbon chuckled. She blushed a little as she thought the scene they were in over. She was practically laying on top of him. Not that she was complaining…It was perfectly comfortable.

„Fantastic…" he sighed and meant it. In a long time he didn't have any nightmares. No dead bodies, no smiling faces, no Red John. „Hey!" he pulled her up to him and kissed her lightly on her lips. „Thank you!" he whispered.

„For what?" she scowled. Her heart fluttered from his kiss. _Will she never be able to get used to him?_

„ Everything…for being you…" he smiled.

She blushed again and gratefulness filled her. He was just perfect…

…

Back in the CBI the team arrived into an empty bullpen. No Jane, no Lisbon…

Rigsby raised his eyebrows and looked around curiously.

„Where could they be? Boss is always here before any of us and Jane literally lives here…" he asked from Cho.

The agent shrugged and opened a book. Rigsby looked at VanPelt who had just arrived.

„I don't know…But I really hope wherever they are they are together…." Grace winked and smiled. Just as they settled down to do their usual morning things the elevator door opened and Lisbon walked out of it. Jane followed her like a lost puppy and a grin was lightening his face.

„Morning Guys! „ Lisbon greeted her team. With coffee in hands she immediately went into her office, but VanPelt didn't miss the smile creeping at the corners of her mouth and the glance Lisbon threw back over her shoulder at Jane. The redhead smiled and started to fidget in her desk to cover it.

„Morning Boss!" he boys seemed to notice nothing but Jane's grin.

„What's up with you man?" Cho asked suspiciously. If Jane was smiling like that it couldn't mean good.

„Nothing…I jsut had a good sleep…" Jane told them and went to his couch. He laid down and closed his eyes.

The agents shook their heads, none of them asked any further.

Just before lunchtime the phone rang and Rigsby answered it.

„CBI! Yes…What? How? Yes. Thank you! I'll tell them…Bye!" he looked up, eyes wide and he was temporary speechless. Then he stood up.

„Hey Boss! Could you come out?" he shouted and he made his way to Jane.

Everybody came together around Jane's couch and Patrick, sensing their presence opened his eyes curiously. They all looked at Rigsby.

„I just got a call from the local prison…" the tall agent started. He shot a suspicious look at Jane as he continued. „ Red John…is dead. „

„What? " VanPelt and Cho were shocked.

„How?" Jane asked calmly.

Lisbon didn't say a word. She felt her heartbeat increase and a very unpleasant feeling spread across her body.

„You really have no idea? „ Rigsby looked at Jane.

„Wha…No! You really think I did it?" Jane was genuenly surprised. Everybody stared at him, waiting for explanation. Except Lisbon. She looked away, and Jane could swear that he saw tears in her eyes. He jumped up and went straigh to her. He slipped his arms around her waist, not caring about the shocked looks of their colleagues. At that moment he couldn't care less about the deal they made in the morning about not telling in the office yet either. All the thought about was her, and her tears. She really believed that he killed him? That he killed Red John and went to her after…She really believed that he used her as an alibi?

He made her look at him. Right into his eyes and as he talked he looked deeply into her green, watery eyes all the while.

„I didn't kill him…I couldn't care less about him anymore!" he said sternly.

Lisbon saw that he was serious. She let one tear fall from her eye and smiled weakly at him. He wiped the tear away and bent down to kiss her sweetly. The agents around them were stunned to silence and when they broke apart Lisbon became red like a tomato. Jane stayed at her side, still hugging her to him as he turned to Rigsby.

„How?" he repeated his earlier question.

„Umm..Khnmm.." Rigsby was still under the effects of the previous actions and he stammered „ He…he was killed in … in the original Red John style." He told them and everybody growled.

_You can't win!_ The sentence sounded in Jane's mind and he smiled sadly.

„He did it…" he said quietly.

„Who?" Grace asked.

„Red John."

„So, it was a suicide? „ Cho asked in disbelief.

„Yes…probably the cameras recorded it…" Jane said and he was surprised at his own thought. But he felt it in his heart that this time he was right…

Few hours later they found out that his guess was correct.

„That's creepy man…How did you know?" Rigsby asked with a confused expression.

„Divination..." Jane shrugged. They were all in the bullpen again, closing the day.

„You don't feel disappointed? „ Lisbon asked, a little fear in her voice. She was slightly afraid of the answer.

Patrcik looked at her and walked to Lisbon's side. He pulled her to him and smiled at her.

„No, not at all…" he told her honestly. The love shining from his eyes made her warm up and she nestled to him.

„Really? I thought you wanted to kill him yourself? Or you gave that plan up? „ Rigsby asked him with a smile on his face. The two was just adorable. They loved each other so much that he was happy for them. Every member of the team was happy for them actually, happy that they finally found each other.

„Yeah…" Jane sighed and looked down at the woman in his arms. He squeezed her and smiled at her lovingly. „It turned out it doesn't worth it…"

**Oh my God. It's done…Woah..I had no idea I would feel like this. It's so great to know that I did this…:) **

**Really thank you guys for reading and I would be unbelievably happy if you could review once more…:) **

**Especially because I want you to decide the next story I write…I have three ideas in my mind and I would like you to decide…So tell me which one you would like to read next!**

**1. Grace's wedding, Lisbon is a bridesmaid. Jane couldn't get his eyes away from her. Probably a oneshot. **

**2. Lisbon finds a little girl at a crime scene. She has to go to fostercare. Lisbon wishes she could keep her. Maybe Jane will convince her to keep the baby? A little bit like the film 'Life as we know it' but the story is entirely different! I have some of it written down already so…:) **

**3. And the last (I have to tell you I like this one the most at the moment…) , Lisbon has a new boyfriend and she has totally changed for him. Jane is lonely without the old Lisbon and he is not going to let the new man steal his friend away from him! But is she really just a friend?**

**So…It's on you…please tell me which one you would like to read!**

**I hope we will „meet" at the next story… And again, really really thank you for reading and reviewing! Love you all! **

**Oh, and everybody…Less than one week and a brand new episode! Whoot whoot! Hurray! :) Good watching! :)**

**Bye!**

**PS: Tell me which story you would like the most…It's really important! :) **


	21. Author's Note

**Hi Dears! :) This is just a note to thank you for your lovely reviews…they literally made me stunned to silence! Really thanks for reading this story…:)**

**And I wanted to tell you that you chose 2 stories actually, so today I uploaded the first chapter of both..:) You can find them if you would like to read! :) **

**The second option, with the title: ****To adopt or not to adopt?**** ( hilarious,right…I just couldn't be less funny…:) ) **

**And the third option with the title: ****Don't change**

**Thank you again, for everything, and I hope you'll enjoy the next stories too! :) **


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